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difficult child living with Grandparents?
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<blockquote data-quote="Mom2oddson" data-source="post: 326603" data-attributes="member: 65"><p>Welcome to the board. </p><p></p><p>I don't know what help I can give, just that I've been there done that, doing it again. We are on our second child (difficult child 2) to go live with the enabling grandma (EG). When it happened with the first one (difficult child 1), it was devastating and I didn't think any of us would survive. But we did. Is difficult child 1 better off from the experience... no. Would things have gone differently for him if he had stayed with us, in all honesty, probably not. So, over time, we learned to detach. </p><p></p><p>What I learned through the first experience that I'm using this time through is that it was EG's decision to take difficult child 2 in. Whatever consequences come from their situation is their problem. Not mine. If they have troubles or if they are taken advantage of...it's their problem. </p><p></p><p>I know that difficult child 2 is making bad choices. I know that difficult child 2 is on a bad path. But the fall-out will be on EG, not me. And so, they live their lives and I live mine. I've got boundaries that I won't let them cross. I won't discuss difficult child 2 with anyone except husband. Anyone else starts, I say "I'm not interested". Even husband is getting better at this. He's told him Mom (EG) that he won't talk about difficult child 2....he's had to hang up on her a few times, but she's learning not to bring the subject up with him. </p><p></p><p>All I can suggest is to take care of YOU and the kids that you have at home.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mom2oddson, post: 326603, member: 65"] Welcome to the board. I don't know what help I can give, just that I've been there done that, doing it again. We are on our second child (difficult child 2) to go live with the enabling grandma (EG). When it happened with the first one (difficult child 1), it was devastating and I didn't think any of us would survive. But we did. Is difficult child 1 better off from the experience... no. Would things have gone differently for him if he had stayed with us, in all honesty, probably not. So, over time, we learned to detach. What I learned through the first experience that I'm using this time through is that it was EG's decision to take difficult child 2 in. Whatever consequences come from their situation is their problem. Not mine. If they have troubles or if they are taken advantage of...it's their problem. I know that difficult child 2 is making bad choices. I know that difficult child 2 is on a bad path. But the fall-out will be on EG, not me. And so, they live their lives and I live mine. I've got boundaries that I won't let them cross. I won't discuss difficult child 2 with anyone except husband. Anyone else starts, I say "I'm not interested". Even husband is getting better at this. He's told him Mom (EG) that he won't talk about difficult child 2....he's had to hang up on her a few times, but she's learning not to bring the subject up with him. All I can suggest is to take care of YOU and the kids that you have at home. [/QUOTE]
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