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difficult child missing more school
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 561347" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>I understand the fears with ex and I agree I'd get on record what your efforts are. In MN parents are held accountable to get their kids to school until a certain age then mid school-ish age.the.child is responsible to attend and the parents responsible to compel them to attend. A little shift. So, if the parent can document that they have made daily efforts they are not going to get in trouble. </p><p>Time for a meeting as others have said. That documents that you are saying there's a problem and you need a new plan. If the plan includes an officer coming to get her when she refuses thats fine. </p><p></p><p>And on the big picture front...kids may have say in where they live, and you and other adults get that, but SHE is not likely really able to believe that, if her father is telling her differently. I can imagine that if he is saying such things she is overwhelmed and facing school stuff on top of that may be too much.I am just guessing, maybe she is doing the only thing she can control that makes her feel a little better?. </p><p></p><p> Is she able to directly work on that subject with a therapist? Can the therapist support a restraining order of any kind to limit what he is allowed to say to them? Or a change.to.specify that in a.custody agreement? Is there even a custody agreement? I think I remember you said he didn't really have any rights but maybe I'm mixed up. (Sorry ) ...</p><p></p><p>I bet.there are people here who have ideas on how to negotiate what can and can't be said to the kids on agreements. Just a thought. </p><p></p><p>I know you let your mom do the advocating but your spinning your wheels with that. She sounds like she cares but you have said that you two have poor boundary guidelines. I get that, have had to work thru it with my sisters too. It really is.worth it.to pull back and get a separate advocate. </p><p></p><p>I.know it's easier to say than to do because we really don't know the whole picture. So please know I'm just throwing out ideas but support whatever you decide is right for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 561347, member: 12886"] I understand the fears with ex and I agree I'd get on record what your efforts are. In MN parents are held accountable to get their kids to school until a certain age then mid school-ish age.the.child is responsible to attend and the parents responsible to compel them to attend. A little shift. So, if the parent can document that they have made daily efforts they are not going to get in trouble. Time for a meeting as others have said. That documents that you are saying there's a problem and you need a new plan. If the plan includes an officer coming to get her when she refuses thats fine. And on the big picture front...kids may have say in where they live, and you and other adults get that, but SHE is not likely really able to believe that, if her father is telling her differently. I can imagine that if he is saying such things she is overwhelmed and facing school stuff on top of that may be too much.I am just guessing, maybe she is doing the only thing she can control that makes her feel a little better?. Is she able to directly work on that subject with a therapist? Can the therapist support a restraining order of any kind to limit what he is allowed to say to them? Or a change.to.specify that in a.custody agreement? Is there even a custody agreement? I think I remember you said he didn't really have any rights but maybe I'm mixed up. (Sorry ) ... I bet.there are people here who have ideas on how to negotiate what can and can't be said to the kids on agreements. Just a thought. I know you let your mom do the advocating but your spinning your wheels with that. She sounds like she cares but you have said that you two have poor boundary guidelines. I get that, have had to work thru it with my sisters too. It really is.worth it.to pull back and get a separate advocate. I.know it's easier to say than to do because we really don't know the whole picture. So please know I'm just throwing out ideas but support whatever you decide is right for you. [/QUOTE]
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