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Substance Abuse
difficult child picking up pot again
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 641767" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>OK Here is my take...You have absolutely no control over whether or not she uses drugs or drinks. She is now not living with you. You can set limits on what you will be around, so yes you can choose not to be around her if she is high or drunk. I dont think it works to set any kind of conditions on help though, so if you say you will not buy her gas if she is using weed, then she will just hide it more from you so that you will buy her gas. </p><p></p><p>I have recently found that I no longer ask my difficult child if he is using drugs or drinking. I can tell from posts on FB that he is to some extent but I am keeping my mouth shut. He is not living with me, he is in another state. I have helped him out somewhat financially recently.... his requests have been reasonable but there. He is doing better than in the past.</p><p></p><p>I would be happier if he was truly sober and i know he isn't.... but I have decided it is no longer my fight to fight. He is going to do what he needs to do. So I look at requests for things as I would for any other kid his age and in his situation.</p><p></p><p>So my feeling is yes dont give your difficult child cash that she can use directly for drugs. But if you want to buy her a tank of gas, if that makes you feel better in some way then go ahead and do it. I just dont think setting up a condition, I wont do this unless I know you are sober works. It doesnt. So do what makes you feel best and leave it at that. </p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 641767, member: 15801"] OK Here is my take...You have absolutely no control over whether or not she uses drugs or drinks. She is now not living with you. You can set limits on what you will be around, so yes you can choose not to be around her if she is high or drunk. I dont think it works to set any kind of conditions on help though, so if you say you will not buy her gas if she is using weed, then she will just hide it more from you so that you will buy her gas. I have recently found that I no longer ask my difficult child if he is using drugs or drinking. I can tell from posts on FB that he is to some extent but I am keeping my mouth shut. He is not living with me, he is in another state. I have helped him out somewhat financially recently.... his requests have been reasonable but there. He is doing better than in the past. I would be happier if he was truly sober and i know he isn't.... but I have decided it is no longer my fight to fight. He is going to do what he needs to do. So I look at requests for things as I would for any other kid his age and in his situation. So my feeling is yes dont give your difficult child cash that she can use directly for drugs. But if you want to buy her a tank of gas, if that makes you feel better in some way then go ahead and do it. I just dont think setting up a condition, I wont do this unless I know you are sober works. It doesnt. So do what makes you feel best and leave it at that. TL [/QUOTE]
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difficult child picking up pot again
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