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difficult child sent a message, cold, desperate, scared
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 641089" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Tanya, bless you for staying the course despite that message. I know how hard that is on every single level.</p><p></p><p>It takes us being completely broken. Them and us. Completely broken, without any tangible material possessions to offer, just love and encouragement and prayers, before we all realize---them and us---that we can't control life. Or people, place or things. </p><p></p><p>By the grace of our Higher Power, we can only control ourselves. We stand with our hands out and open and empty. That is a good place for them to be. That is a good place for us to be. I know that this experience of the past five years with my son has been a "refining fire" as the song say, for me. I am not the same person I was, but I hope I am a better person. </p><p></p><p>I don't know when the time is right for us to offer assistance. In my son's case, at this point, he began working full time at a McDonald's while still being homeless. Sometimes he walked to work 2 hours one way starting at 2:30 a.m. He was sleeping on benches in the rain. </p><p></p><p>We did not offer anything until he had been doing that about 8 weeks. At that point, my ex-husband, his father, started talking to him about helping him find a place to live. </p><p></p><p>So far, so good. It isn't always pretty or neatly tied up in a bundle like we would like and like we would hope, but somehow, he seems to be moving forward, one day at a time. </p><p></p><p>Perhaps that is all we can ever hope for. I don't know. I continue to struggle with it all. </p><p></p><p>He makes $8 an hour and his rent is $525 for an efficiency apartment. People can barely make it on that kind of money. Especially if they have felonies like he does and get turned down a lot because of that. </p><p></p><p>But somehow, again, he is making it forward with a little help from us. We try not to step in too much and let him carry the heavy freight. He has two probations and fines and all kinds of mess to clean up. </p><p></p><p>It will take a long time, and I just pray he can keep going forward. </p><p></p><p>Maybe, just maybe, all of those long nights in the cold, in the rain, with barely anything, are what he remembers when he gets discouraged, tired or doesn't know what to do next. Maybe that is what had to happen before he had the guts, character, maturity, persistence, whatever it is, to turn, and begin to walk in a new direction.</p><p></p><p>I know there are no guarantees about tomorrow and anything can happen. In my fear, I try to remind myself to continue to let go and let God. What else is there to do, really? </p><p></p><p>Warm hugs to you on this morning. I am praying for your son to do the next right thing for him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 641089, member: 17542"] Tanya, bless you for staying the course despite that message. I know how hard that is on every single level. It takes us being completely broken. Them and us. Completely broken, without any tangible material possessions to offer, just love and encouragement and prayers, before we all realize---them and us---that we can't control life. Or people, place or things. By the grace of our Higher Power, we can only control ourselves. We stand with our hands out and open and empty. That is a good place for them to be. That is a good place for us to be. I know that this experience of the past five years with my son has been a "refining fire" as the song say, for me. I am not the same person I was, but I hope I am a better person. I don't know when the time is right for us to offer assistance. In my son's case, at this point, he began working full time at a McDonald's while still being homeless. Sometimes he walked to work 2 hours one way starting at 2:30 a.m. He was sleeping on benches in the rain. We did not offer anything until he had been doing that about 8 weeks. At that point, my ex-husband, his father, started talking to him about helping him find a place to live. So far, so good. It isn't always pretty or neatly tied up in a bundle like we would like and like we would hope, but somehow, he seems to be moving forward, one day at a time. Perhaps that is all we can ever hope for. I don't know. I continue to struggle with it all. He makes $8 an hour and his rent is $525 for an efficiency apartment. People can barely make it on that kind of money. Especially if they have felonies like he does and get turned down a lot because of that. But somehow, again, he is making it forward with a little help from us. We try not to step in too much and let him carry the heavy freight. He has two probations and fines and all kinds of mess to clean up. It will take a long time, and I just pray he can keep going forward. Maybe, just maybe, all of those long nights in the cold, in the rain, with barely anything, are what he remembers when he gets discouraged, tired or doesn't know what to do next. Maybe that is what had to happen before he had the guts, character, maturity, persistence, whatever it is, to turn, and begin to walk in a new direction. I know there are no guarantees about tomorrow and anything can happen. In my fear, I try to remind myself to continue to let go and let God. What else is there to do, really? Warm hugs to you on this morning. I am praying for your son to do the next right thing for him. [/QUOTE]
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