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difficult child sent me an email....
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 76459" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>It's unfortunate that she feels like no one cares but it is her perception and she is 12yrs old. </p><p> </p><p>I alternated between feeling guilty about difficult child then feeling guilty about easy child. Finally I told them both to get over it. We are doing the best we can for both of them. Their self absoption as teens is part of the development into adults. Magnify difficult child's distorted thinking then you have to realize difficult child senses these things but like the "bugs" she sees, they aren't reality. </p><p> </p><p>I would ask her what you could do to show her that you care? Ask her if she has some examples of parents who care more than you. Ask her what caring looks like and feels like? Ask her how much she cares for her family members(including you). How does she show it? How does she contribute to the family unit? I think some of our kids need to be taught to identify how they feel and articulate it. She may very well feel left out. Sometimes by their very behavior they are left out. Our job as parents is to balance the needs of the one with the needs of the family.</p><p> </p><p>Listen to her suggestions. Try to point out what you are doing that reflects caring. Try some of her suggestions and teach her to articulate when she feels a need to be nurtured. Sometimes despite being thorny difficult children they just want to be hugged.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 76459, member: 3"] It's unfortunate that she feels like no one cares but it is her perception and she is 12yrs old. I alternated between feeling guilty about difficult child then feeling guilty about easy child. Finally I told them both to get over it. We are doing the best we can for both of them. Their self absoption as teens is part of the development into adults. Magnify difficult child's distorted thinking then you have to realize difficult child senses these things but like the "bugs" she sees, they aren't reality. I would ask her what you could do to show her that you care? Ask her if she has some examples of parents who care more than you. Ask her what caring looks like and feels like? Ask her how much she cares for her family members(including you). How does she show it? How does she contribute to the family unit? I think some of our kids need to be taught to identify how they feel and articulate it. She may very well feel left out. Sometimes by their very behavior they are left out. Our job as parents is to balance the needs of the one with the needs of the family. Listen to her suggestions. Try to point out what you are doing that reflects caring. Try some of her suggestions and teach her to articulate when she feels a need to be nurtured. Sometimes despite being thorny difficult children they just want to be hugged. [/QUOTE]
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