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difficult child showed up at 9:45....
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<blockquote data-quote="SunnyFlorida" data-source="post: 12288" data-attributes="member: 696"><p>I meant to reply to this sooner HH but got sidetracked this weekend.</p><p>I too am so sorry you are experiencing this pain and confusion. </p><p>When my difficult child's left (one left with exgf and one we asked to leave), besides changing the locks, we packed up their stuff and put them in containers. I still have those containers in my garage. Yes, it's been 3yrs now. difficult child 2 took the majority of his clothing and whatever was left I ended up getting rid of because he has since outgrowned it. But...difficult child 1 still has plenty of clothes in those containers. When he needs something, he calls and we go through and pick out what he needs. The rest of the stuff is childhood memories that I plan on sorting through "one day".</p><p></p><p>I turned both of their rooms into guest rooms. I've completed one and am slowly working on the other. One has a futon in it, new paint, new carpet, newer used furniture. The other I put both twin beds in it and difficult child 1's furniture. If someone needs to spend the night, depending on circumstances, we can allow it....if we choose. Point is, these are not THEIR room that they are sleeping in. Their rooms are gone. These rooms are my guest rooms and have no difficult child memorabilia in it.</p><p></p><p>It's all to easy to feed into whatever difficult child throws at you. I would encourage you to post as frequently as you can and learn from those who have been there done that. It's hard to admit that you've done something one way and it may have not been the best way. That doesn't mean it was wrong....it just means "what we did isn't working....we should try something different". </p><p></p><p>Your difficult child has been given a chance by the judge. It's up to him. If he asks for assistance, he must do the "do to get". If he doesn't, then the assistance must stop.</p><p></p><p> :smile:Thinking of you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SunnyFlorida, post: 12288, member: 696"] I meant to reply to this sooner HH but got sidetracked this weekend. I too am so sorry you are experiencing this pain and confusion. When my difficult child's left (one left with exgf and one we asked to leave), besides changing the locks, we packed up their stuff and put them in containers. I still have those containers in my garage. Yes, it's been 3yrs now. difficult child 2 took the majority of his clothing and whatever was left I ended up getting rid of because he has since outgrowned it. But...difficult child 1 still has plenty of clothes in those containers. When he needs something, he calls and we go through and pick out what he needs. The rest of the stuff is childhood memories that I plan on sorting through "one day". I turned both of their rooms into guest rooms. I've completed one and am slowly working on the other. One has a futon in it, new paint, new carpet, newer used furniture. The other I put both twin beds in it and difficult child 1's furniture. If someone needs to spend the night, depending on circumstances, we can allow it....if we choose. Point is, these are not THEIR room that they are sleeping in. Their rooms are gone. These rooms are my guest rooms and have no difficult child memorabilia in it. It's all to easy to feed into whatever difficult child throws at you. I would encourage you to post as frequently as you can and learn from those who have been there done that. It's hard to admit that you've done something one way and it may have not been the best way. That doesn't mean it was wrong....it just means "what we did isn't working....we should try something different". Your difficult child has been given a chance by the judge. It's up to him. If he asks for assistance, he must do the "do to get". If he doesn't, then the assistance must stop. [img]:smile:[/img]Thinking of you. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child showed up at 9:45....
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