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Difficult Child sleeping until 3pm
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 751462" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>You have to know your kid.</p><p></p><p>Our family does not yell. We are calm even when upset or at least we sound calm. We do not name call or scream even when insulted. So Kay gave out plenty abuse, but did not get much back.</p><p></p><p>We are wired to be in control, husband and extended relatives as well. I do feel this is always preferable to striking out when we are emotional and feel anger. Our family members are big on taking 24 hour breaks before responding.</p><p></p><p>Even so, you can not walk away from Kay, who won't cool off or let go. She follows you. She bombs our phones. She doesn't listen, sign contracts or shake hands. Our 24 hour response waits often included abuse blocks, which she understood. "I love you very much, but I need to think about this before I respond." Or "I need a break. I will contact you soon about this. Meanwhile, remember I love you."</p><p></p><p>We have to deal with her differently than some. It is pretty much impossible to work with her if we don't give her money. No matter how calm we are.</p><p></p><p>She could never live with us. We bought her places to live rather than having her stay with us. We don't do that anymore, but we did for years.</p><p></p><p>We each need to deal with our disturbed person in a way that works best. Some of these kids are less pigheaded than Kay. I wish she would be reasonable. Time and time again only totally agreeing with her makes her lower her voice. All else and she will act out terribly.</p><p></p><p>There is no right or wrong way to handle a kid like this as they are all different levels of defiant and some can be dangerous.</p><p></p><p>Do what works for your kid and your family. Nobody here will fault you for anything. Even in my particular Al Anon group, we respond differently to similar challenges. We are a diverse group in Al Anon as we are here. And as we do here we hold hands and support one another and know that we are all doing the best we can for today. Just for today....</p><p></p><p>God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change,</p><p>the courage to change the things I can,</p><p>And the wisdom to do the difference.</p><p></p><p>We all do this here, I believe, whether we believe in God or not.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 751462, member: 23706"] You have to know your kid. Our family does not yell. We are calm even when upset or at least we sound calm. We do not name call or scream even when insulted. So Kay gave out plenty abuse, but did not get much back. We are wired to be in control, husband and extended relatives as well. I do feel this is always preferable to striking out when we are emotional and feel anger. Our family members are big on taking 24 hour breaks before responding. Even so, you can not walk away from Kay, who won't cool off or let go. She follows you. She bombs our phones. She doesn't listen, sign contracts or shake hands. Our 24 hour response waits often included abuse blocks, which she understood. "I love you very much, but I need to think about this before I respond." Or "I need a break. I will contact you soon about this. Meanwhile, remember I love you." We have to deal with her differently than some. It is pretty much impossible to work with her if we don't give her money. No matter how calm we are. She could never live with us. We bought her places to live rather than having her stay with us. We don't do that anymore, but we did for years. We each need to deal with our disturbed person in a way that works best. Some of these kids are less pigheaded than Kay. I wish she would be reasonable. Time and time again only totally agreeing with her makes her lower her voice. All else and she will act out terribly. There is no right or wrong way to handle a kid like this as they are all different levels of defiant and some can be dangerous. Do what works for your kid and your family. Nobody here will fault you for anything. Even in my particular Al Anon group, we respond differently to similar challenges. We are a diverse group in Al Anon as we are here. And as we do here we hold hands and support one another and know that we are all doing the best we can for today. Just for today.... God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to do the difference. We all do this here, I believe, whether we believe in God or not. [/QUOTE]
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