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General Parenting
difficult child Stole $63.00 from a fundraiser!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 382402" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>We went through this with difficult child 1. He actually was stealing from my wallet over a long period of time and it mounted up to several hundred dollars. difficult child 1 would appear with a new toy which he would claim his friend had loaned him. But then I would see him putting his name on the toy, or modifying it in some way which he wouldn't have done with a loan. We finally caught him in the act and the shame of it, plus being made to own up and the consequences, were enough to scare him straight, permanently.</p><p></p><p>At tat time I let him see how upset I was. I was distraught, in floods of tears. I think that upset difficult child 1 even more than he had thought it would, he realised that in stealing, he had thought he would get a few dollars I wouldn't miss in order to buy a toy he was desperate to own (because it seemed to him that all the other kids could have any toy they ever wanted; only difficult child 1 seemed to never have what he wanted). When he realised he had caused so much distress, it upset him. Then the next consequence - we could not trust him, we made it clear that we did not trust him, for several years. I lost a piece of jewellery, I accused him of pawning it. He was hurt (because he hadn't done it, I found it afterwards) but he had to accept that it was logical for us to not trust him. He had to work hard to earn back our trust.</p><p></p><p>The experience taught him a lot and turned it around for us.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 382402, member: 1991"] We went through this with difficult child 1. He actually was stealing from my wallet over a long period of time and it mounted up to several hundred dollars. difficult child 1 would appear with a new toy which he would claim his friend had loaned him. But then I would see him putting his name on the toy, or modifying it in some way which he wouldn't have done with a loan. We finally caught him in the act and the shame of it, plus being made to own up and the consequences, were enough to scare him straight, permanently. At tat time I let him see how upset I was. I was distraught, in floods of tears. I think that upset difficult child 1 even more than he had thought it would, he realised that in stealing, he had thought he would get a few dollars I wouldn't miss in order to buy a toy he was desperate to own (because it seemed to him that all the other kids could have any toy they ever wanted; only difficult child 1 seemed to never have what he wanted). When he realised he had caused so much distress, it upset him. Then the next consequence - we could not trust him, we made it clear that we did not trust him, for several years. I lost a piece of jewellery, I accused him of pawning it. He was hurt (because he hadn't done it, I found it afterwards) but he had to accept that it was logical for us to not trust him. He had to work hard to earn back our trust. The experience taught him a lot and turned it around for us. Marg [/QUOTE]
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