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General Parenting
difficult child swiped my headphones and had a major explosion when I gave him consequences
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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 557785" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>Terry--</p><p></p><p>This sounds like a very complex situation....and as I read your post, I cannot help but feel as though there are a lot of blurred boundaries.</p><p></p><p>I know that Aspies deal with black-and-white logic best and it seems that you were trying to separate each issue and not let one issue snowball onto another.</p><p></p><p>Just my opinion, though, I think you and your husband should re-prioritize your goals. in my humble opinion, your son should learn that RESPECT for others is #1. Respect covers a lot of ground. We respect other's feelings, we respect others' property, we respect others' time, etc.</p><p></p><p>Stealing is against the law, but it is a HUGE form of disrespect. Cursing at you - disrespect. Physical intimidation - disrepect.</p><p></p><p>In the midst of his disrespectful behavior - you offered money, entertained his girlfriend, and helped make plans for the evening celebration. In my opinion, this reinforces the idea that respect for Mom is not required. And it encourages him to argue, threaten, and intimidate to get his way.</p><p></p><p>One of the strategies that worked for us was to make disrespect in any form a punishable offense. Yes, there were a lot of punishments at first - but that lesson sunk in. difficult child no longer curses at us or physically threatens us. </p><p></p><p>I think your husband needs to sit difficult child down and lay down some new rules. Respect for others is #1 in your house - especially respect for Mom. Any disrespect for Mom or Mom's things will be severely punished. Consequences will come from Dad. Every time.</p><p></p><p>Good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 557785, member: 6546"] Terry-- This sounds like a very complex situation....and as I read your post, I cannot help but feel as though there are a lot of blurred boundaries. I know that Aspies deal with black-and-white logic best and it seems that you were trying to separate each issue and not let one issue snowball onto another. Just my opinion, though, I think you and your husband should re-prioritize your goals. in my humble opinion, your son should learn that RESPECT for others is #1. Respect covers a lot of ground. We respect other's feelings, we respect others' property, we respect others' time, etc. Stealing is against the law, but it is a HUGE form of disrespect. Cursing at you - disrespect. Physical intimidation - disrepect. In the midst of his disrespectful behavior - you offered money, entertained his girlfriend, and helped make plans for the evening celebration. In my opinion, this reinforces the idea that respect for Mom is not required. And it encourages him to argue, threaten, and intimidate to get his way. One of the strategies that worked for us was to make disrespect in any form a punishable offense. Yes, there were a lot of punishments at first - but that lesson sunk in. difficult child no longer curses at us or physically threatens us. I think your husband needs to sit difficult child down and lay down some new rules. Respect for others is #1 in your house - especially respect for Mom. Any disrespect for Mom or Mom's things will be severely punished. Consequences will come from Dad. Every time. Good luck! [/QUOTE]
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difficult child swiped my headphones and had a major explosion when I gave him consequences
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