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difficult child talks back to teachers!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 500091" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi, there. I'm so sorry you are having a hard time right now. I want to give you my perspective on the "he can control it" part.</p><p></p><p>Every person alive can control their behavior at times. The fact that he needs high motivation to control himself, however, suggests that it is real challenge to him. But back to "he can control it when he wants to." </p><p></p><p> Even rapists, serial killers, and schizophrenics do not always act out. ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), bipolar kids and kids with Learning Disability (LD)'s and other disorders do not act out all the time. So, yes, at certain times they CAN control themselves...when things are calmer for them and they are feeling better or maybe doing the things they like or just because their body chemistry hits a stable point. Although they can control themselves some of the time or even most of the time, that does not mean that they can control themselves all of the time. When kids start to worsen, the first thing I like to look at is the medications. While they can work really well, they work equally as horrible. A medication change is often what happens right before behavior deteriorates, so that is worth looking at. </p><p></p><p>Being strict and always following through lets your child know they will be consistent and gives him stability...at least he knows what to expect from you. It does not guarantee that his behavior will change for the better though. The best thing to do in my opinion is to get a neuropsychologist evaluation, see what is wrong, and adjust things to his temperment. I notice his bio.l dad has serious problems and he carries 1/2 of his father's DNA. </p><p></p><p>Very few of our kids respond to traditional parenting methods. We really need to think outside of the box.</p><p></p><p>Have you read "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene? His book is not the entire answer, but for many of us it helped bring peace to our families.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 500091, member: 1550"] Hi, there. I'm so sorry you are having a hard time right now. I want to give you my perspective on the "he can control it" part. Every person alive can control their behavior at times. The fact that he needs high motivation to control himself, however, suggests that it is real challenge to him. But back to "he can control it when he wants to." Even rapists, serial killers, and schizophrenics do not always act out. ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), bipolar kids and kids with Learning Disability (LD)'s and other disorders do not act out all the time. So, yes, at certain times they CAN control themselves...when things are calmer for them and they are feeling better or maybe doing the things they like or just because their body chemistry hits a stable point. Although they can control themselves some of the time or even most of the time, that does not mean that they can control themselves all of the time. When kids start to worsen, the first thing I like to look at is the medications. While they can work really well, they work equally as horrible. A medication change is often what happens right before behavior deteriorates, so that is worth looking at. Being strict and always following through lets your child know they will be consistent and gives him stability...at least he knows what to expect from you. It does not guarantee that his behavior will change for the better though. The best thing to do in my opinion is to get a neuropsychologist evaluation, see what is wrong, and adjust things to his temperment. I notice his bio.l dad has serious problems and he carries 1/2 of his father's DNA. Very few of our kids respond to traditional parenting methods. We really need to think outside of the box. Have you read "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene? His book is not the entire answer, but for many of us it helped bring peace to our families. [/QUOTE]
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