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Substance Abuse
difficult child threatening won't allow home
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 630195" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Your son is a drug addict now, if you saw needles. He isn't going to be the same little boy you played with, sadly. There is nothing you can do to please or have any sort of relationship with an addict. </p><p></p><p>I know it feels humiliating when your son is in the newspapers, but anyone with any experience or a clearheaded brain realizes HE is the one who should feel ashamed, not you. You did not do those deeds. He did. He is an adult. You can't make him behave by grounding him. He will do what he wants to do and anyone who doesn't know this...well, I hope they never find out that it is not within YOUR control what he does and does not reflect on your parenting. Anyhow, really, most people are focused on their own selves and forget about the drama in the lives of others fast. They have their own stuff going on to think about.</p><p></p><p>Have you ever gone to a twelve step meeting, or NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) and do you have a therapist for yourself? You deserve to have a great rest-of-your-life even though your son is a mess. It's possible to do it. Takes time and therapy and working on yourself, but we are not our children and they are not us. Your son is choosing to do dangerous things, but you aren't and you matter as much as he does. You deserve to enjoy yourself and not take on his angst all the time. Accept what he is, and try not to think about his future. Try to focus on the wonderful moment of now, and enjoy each second to it's fullest <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> That is a great coping skill called mindfulness. Looking at your son logically, without judgment, and acknowledging the truth is called radical acceptance. You can look both concepts up on the internet. They are very useful tools if learn about them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 630195, member: 1550"] Your son is a drug addict now, if you saw needles. He isn't going to be the same little boy you played with, sadly. There is nothing you can do to please or have any sort of relationship with an addict. I know it feels humiliating when your son is in the newspapers, but anyone with any experience or a clearheaded brain realizes HE is the one who should feel ashamed, not you. You did not do those deeds. He did. He is an adult. You can't make him behave by grounding him. He will do what he wants to do and anyone who doesn't know this...well, I hope they never find out that it is not within YOUR control what he does and does not reflect on your parenting. Anyhow, really, most people are focused on their own selves and forget about the drama in the lives of others fast. They have their own stuff going on to think about. Have you ever gone to a twelve step meeting, or NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) and do you have a therapist for yourself? You deserve to have a great rest-of-your-life even though your son is a mess. It's possible to do it. Takes time and therapy and working on yourself, but we are not our children and they are not us. Your son is choosing to do dangerous things, but you aren't and you matter as much as he does. You deserve to enjoy yourself and not take on his angst all the time. Accept what he is, and try not to think about his future. Try to focus on the wonderful moment of now, and enjoy each second to it's fullest :) That is a great coping skill called mindfulness. Looking at your son logically, without judgment, and acknowledging the truth is called radical acceptance. You can look both concepts up on the internet. They are very useful tools if learn about them. [/QUOTE]
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