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difficult child transported by police to phosph -
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 188744" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>You know that my M left our home at 17 after an assault on husband. husband pressed charges, and they are now off of his record as he was still a juvenile. He went first to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and really schmoozed them. The kid's choices there are to take responsibility for their actions or blame the parents. M chose to blame us, me in particular. The majority of the staff fell for it, and that was just about one of the most awful moments of my life. Some saw through it though.</p><p></p><p>Luckily, as we had pressed charges, he was put into the juvenile system, and went from there to a Transitional Living Center, then when he was nearly 18 and had graduated high school - by the skin of his teeth and with our help - he started going through the parent's of his friends, then friends, until he had to find a place of his own. The whole process took almost 5 years. But we are back into a tenuous relationship with him, and he is self supportive. In a difficult child kind of way.</p><p></p><p>If you haven't already pressed charges, please do so. He really can't come home, and I know you know that. You are in danger with him there. Physically he has proven himself to be violent to you. Emotionally you are at risk with him in your home. Something has to give in both of your lives, and I am very sorry to say that this is probably the only answer. He hasn't graduated high school yet, so it's more likely that the court will look for rehabilitation rather than retribution.</p><p></p><p>I have to tell you from personal experience, wherever he goes, it is going to stick in your craw and tick you off. <em>And</em>, you don't have the ability to protect him or you from his actions. They may look to family to place him, and that could be his dad or your parents. I know that thought just makes you crazy, but you could insist that he be highly monitored and participate in treatment. </p><p></p><p>Please, sweety. We care about you. You have to stop living your life as a victim. You have to take control of your home and your safety. You have to recognize the things that you can't control. Your difficult child is something that doesn't fit in with that. You know that if he is out of your home and with another family member, he knows what you know, and he won't want to be there. He may abuse the situation, but he will eventually find his way out of it. You have to break out of this hole you are in.</p><p></p><p>{{{{{{{{{{Big hugs}}}}}}}}}</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 188744, member: 99"] You know that my M left our home at 17 after an assault on husband. husband pressed charges, and they are now off of his record as he was still a juvenile. He went first to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and really schmoozed them. The kid's choices there are to take responsibility for their actions or blame the parents. M chose to blame us, me in particular. The majority of the staff fell for it, and that was just about one of the most awful moments of my life. Some saw through it though. Luckily, as we had pressed charges, he was put into the juvenile system, and went from there to a Transitional Living Center, then when he was nearly 18 and had graduated high school - by the skin of his teeth and with our help - he started going through the parent's of his friends, then friends, until he had to find a place of his own. The whole process took almost 5 years. But we are back into a tenuous relationship with him, and he is self supportive. In a difficult child kind of way. If you haven't already pressed charges, please do so. He really can't come home, and I know you know that. You are in danger with him there. Physically he has proven himself to be violent to you. Emotionally you are at risk with him in your home. Something has to give in both of your lives, and I am very sorry to say that this is probably the only answer. He hasn't graduated high school yet, so it's more likely that the court will look for rehabilitation rather than retribution. I have to tell you from personal experience, wherever he goes, it is going to stick in your craw and tick you off. [I]And[/I], you don't have the ability to protect him or you from his actions. They may look to family to place him, and that could be his dad or your parents. I know that thought just makes you crazy, but you could insist that he be highly monitored and participate in treatment. Please, sweety. We care about you. You have to stop living your life as a victim. You have to take control of your home and your safety. You have to recognize the things that you can't control. Your difficult child is something that doesn't fit in with that. You know that if he is out of your home and with another family member, he knows what you know, and he won't want to be there. He may abuse the situation, but he will eventually find his way out of it. You have to break out of this hole you are in. {{{{{{{{{{Big hugs}}}}}}}}} [/QUOTE]
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