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difficult child turns 18 tomorrow
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 201940" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>Thanks guys..........</p><p></p><p>I talked to him today to wish him a happy birthday and it was really good. It was the first time in weeks I had gotten to speak to him. When I talked to him he had just successfully transfered from the under 18 program to the over 18 program (30 miles away) & signed his compliance waiver to stay there under his own volition. It was a huge step for him - and yet - in reality he had no other choice since he is 1000 miles away from home with no other place to go to. (Of course reality has not always been present or a factor in his mind, so again a good step for him.)</p><p></p><p>He is in an intensive outback wilderness program, where they hike every day, and sleep in shelters they build themselves, and start fires from sticks. It is designed to bring the kids back to their core selves, without relying on anything but themselves. The therapist has been awesome, and I really trust her. However, this program is only an intensive 2 months program designed to transition kids from one place to another. I have told Matt that he would be going to a "second phase" after this.</p><p></p><p>Today he told me on the phone that he was mentally preparing himself for going to the next program, and that although it will be really hard, he knows he has to do it. That statement took a lot of stress off of me.......because I needed him to understand that would happen, and to be ready, without me having to step in and be the bad guy. I am really glad he gets the fact that "home" as he knows it, will forever be changed. That statement made me feel better about the future.</p><p></p><p>Anyway. Despite him being "of legal age", I am now set up to retain my physical boundaries simply because he is so far away. Unless he gets a job and earns the airfare to come back home, I will be able to love and support him from a distance. As sad as it is, it is also a relief. I just wish that it all had not happened so quick and so close to H's death. However. Life is life. I have realized we have little control over it, other than what we can personally control.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 201940, member: 3301"] Thanks guys.......... I talked to him today to wish him a happy birthday and it was really good. It was the first time in weeks I had gotten to speak to him. When I talked to him he had just successfully transfered from the under 18 program to the over 18 program (30 miles away) & signed his compliance waiver to stay there under his own volition. It was a huge step for him - and yet - in reality he had no other choice since he is 1000 miles away from home with no other place to go to. (Of course reality has not always been present or a factor in his mind, so again a good step for him.) He is in an intensive outback wilderness program, where they hike every day, and sleep in shelters they build themselves, and start fires from sticks. It is designed to bring the kids back to their core selves, without relying on anything but themselves. The therapist has been awesome, and I really trust her. However, this program is only an intensive 2 months program designed to transition kids from one place to another. I have told Matt that he would be going to a "second phase" after this. Today he told me on the phone that he was mentally preparing himself for going to the next program, and that although it will be really hard, he knows he has to do it. That statement took a lot of stress off of me.......because I needed him to understand that would happen, and to be ready, without me having to step in and be the bad guy. I am really glad he gets the fact that "home" as he knows it, will forever be changed. That statement made me feel better about the future. Anyway. Despite him being "of legal age", I am now set up to retain my physical boundaries simply because he is so far away. Unless he gets a job and earns the airfare to come back home, I will be able to love and support him from a distance. As sad as it is, it is also a relief. I just wish that it all had not happened so quick and so close to H's death. However. Life is life. I have realized we have little control over it, other than what we can personally control. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child turns 18 tomorrow
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