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Parent Emeritus
difficult child Update - Not getting any better
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 583487" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>WTW, first of all many, many gentle and caring hugs for you. I understand how much your heart is hurting right now and how angry you feel towards this other parent who is allowing your son to stay at her place. I think checking in once a week with a lunch with your difficult child is a good idea, it's not always the best idea to have no contact, he is still only 16 and you are his mom. I think at his age not contacting you at all is not that uncommon, I know it hurts your feelings, it would mine too, but a 16 year old is so self centered and so into instant gratification, they are just too self absorbed to think about anyone else. Then throw in possible bipolar and you have a cocktail of behaviors which really don't have anything to do with you. So, you initiating contact once a week and not enabling him in any way sounds perfectly fine and a good idea for your own sanity and well being. </p><p></p><p>I think you always make very well thought out choices and this is no exception. You're on uncharted territory with mine fields every few feet and you continue to negotiate the journey very well. Not to say you don't have passionate feelings about all of it, we all do, but it's the choices you make which are profoundly important and you make good choices.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 583487, member: 13542"] WTW, first of all many, many gentle and caring hugs for you. I understand how much your heart is hurting right now and how angry you feel towards this other parent who is allowing your son to stay at her place. I think checking in once a week with a lunch with your difficult child is a good idea, it's not always the best idea to have no contact, he is still only 16 and you are his mom. I think at his age not contacting you at all is not that uncommon, I know it hurts your feelings, it would mine too, but a 16 year old is so self centered and so into instant gratification, they are just too self absorbed to think about anyone else. Then throw in possible bipolar and you have a cocktail of behaviors which really don't have anything to do with you. So, you initiating contact once a week and not enabling him in any way sounds perfectly fine and a good idea for your own sanity and well being. I think you always make very well thought out choices and this is no exception. You're on uncharted territory with mine fields every few feet and you continue to negotiate the journey very well. Not to say you don't have passionate feelings about all of it, we all do, but it's the choices you make which are profoundly important and you make good choices. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child Update - Not getting any better
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