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difficult child update
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 402070" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>Haozi, I totally agree that hair can be a shield and Matt has always been open about the fact he keeps his hair long as a shield. It is so healthy for him to get it cut and hopefully it is a reflection of him being ready to emerge from a sort of social exile and regain his confidence and start participating in a life outside this house again. </p><p></p><p>Janet, I meant to say in my post a bit earlier this morning in the thread, you totally explained yourself well when you posted. I guess MY post afterward might have come across as I took what you said in a way you didn't mean to. But it is probably just that whole online typing thing that sometimes doesn't give a reflection of what we really are trying to say lol. Sorry! </p><p></p><p>Another positive I forgot to mention as well, he asked if S/O could help him to paint his bedroom and replace his single bed with a double sized one or a futon (he is 6'4, I don't blame him for wanting out of that single bed). I told him the paint is not a problem at all and that a bed or futon isn't either because I always told him I'd ensure he had a decent bedroom set when he's old enough to move out. But there was no point in spending a fortune on a good double or queen sized bed for him if he moves out soon and has a small place the bed won't fit (I won't then buy another pricey but small bed, we don't have the cash to throw about willy nilly). So I suggested holding off on the bed vs. futon decision. He told me he really wants a job and he knows he'll be paying rent to live here but has no desire to move out really soon so he'd prefer to get a bed now. </p><p></p><p>I'm glad to hear that, especially given he knows the rules for living here being either work full time and pay rent, or enroll in school again full time and pass all classes. Implies to me he realizes if work doesn't work out, he'll have to go back to school. Crossing fingers this is a decision he is going to remain happy about.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 402070, member: 4264"] Haozi, I totally agree that hair can be a shield and Matt has always been open about the fact he keeps his hair long as a shield. It is so healthy for him to get it cut and hopefully it is a reflection of him being ready to emerge from a sort of social exile and regain his confidence and start participating in a life outside this house again. Janet, I meant to say in my post a bit earlier this morning in the thread, you totally explained yourself well when you posted. I guess MY post afterward might have come across as I took what you said in a way you didn't mean to. But it is probably just that whole online typing thing that sometimes doesn't give a reflection of what we really are trying to say lol. Sorry! Another positive I forgot to mention as well, he asked if S/O could help him to paint his bedroom and replace his single bed with a double sized one or a futon (he is 6'4, I don't blame him for wanting out of that single bed). I told him the paint is not a problem at all and that a bed or futon isn't either because I always told him I'd ensure he had a decent bedroom set when he's old enough to move out. But there was no point in spending a fortune on a good double or queen sized bed for him if he moves out soon and has a small place the bed won't fit (I won't then buy another pricey but small bed, we don't have the cash to throw about willy nilly). So I suggested holding off on the bed vs. futon decision. He told me he really wants a job and he knows he'll be paying rent to live here but has no desire to move out really soon so he'd prefer to get a bed now. I'm glad to hear that, especially given he knows the rules for living here being either work full time and pay rent, or enroll in school again full time and pass all classes. Implies to me he realizes if work doesn't work out, he'll have to go back to school. Crossing fingers this is a decision he is going to remain happy about. [/QUOTE]
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