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difficult child wants to call his egg donor
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<blockquote data-quote="mom_to_3" data-source="post: 133576" data-attributes="member: 30"><p>My difficult child is adopted. When she was growing up I just always knew she would search out her bio's. I can't really describe what or how I felt, I just knew I felt odd about it. I never felt threatened with the thought and figured had *I* been adopted, that I too would be curious. So the need to search is very understandable to me.</p><p></p><p>I often wondered as my difficult child was growing up, if she noticed that she didn't look like the rest of us, if she noticed that her temperament and interests were different? I can understand a persons need to connect on a human level to another human being. Our difficult child was polar opposite from the rest of us. I always felt badly about that. Of course we love our difficult child, but there is a difference, an understanding with our bio children that we don't have with our difficult child.</p><p></p><p>One thing thankfully, I never did and I caution you about is to never, ever, ever talk in a disparaging way about his bio's. My difficult child's bio's were both in jail, CPS took another child from them, just never seemed to get their act together, plenty of negative stuff. We never spoke about it to or around our children.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child did get to meet her bio mother. I am glad she did! She looks, thinks, talks and acts like her, they share an interest in music and writing and many other things. My difficult child is ambivalent about their meeting now. She's happy that she did, but she can't stand her bio mom because guess why??????????????????????????? According to my difficult child, THEY ARE EXACTLY ALIKE!</p><p></p><p>Let your son be. Let him explore who he is and where he came from. It won't hurt him, I promise. He is 18 and you have parented him all you can. His bio mom can't take anything from you, YOU ARE HIS MOTHER. Give your son the best 18th birthday gift you can give him............... your blessings (with a happy heart) to seek out his bio mom. Help him get a phone number, address, etc. Your son can call more than one person mom, but that doesn't negate the mothering that you have done. Your son KNOWS who his REAL mother is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mom_to_3, post: 133576, member: 30"] My difficult child is adopted. When she was growing up I just always knew she would search out her bio's. I can't really describe what or how I felt, I just knew I felt odd about it. I never felt threatened with the thought and figured had *I* been adopted, that I too would be curious. So the need to search is very understandable to me. I often wondered as my difficult child was growing up, if she noticed that she didn't look like the rest of us, if she noticed that her temperament and interests were different? I can understand a persons need to connect on a human level to another human being. Our difficult child was polar opposite from the rest of us. I always felt badly about that. Of course we love our difficult child, but there is a difference, an understanding with our bio children that we don't have with our difficult child. One thing thankfully, I never did and I caution you about is to never, ever, ever talk in a disparaging way about his bio's. My difficult child's bio's were both in jail, CPS took another child from them, just never seemed to get their act together, plenty of negative stuff. We never spoke about it to or around our children. My difficult child did get to meet her bio mother. I am glad she did! She looks, thinks, talks and acts like her, they share an interest in music and writing and many other things. My difficult child is ambivalent about their meeting now. She's happy that she did, but she can't stand her bio mom because guess why??????????????????????????? According to my difficult child, THEY ARE EXACTLY ALIKE! Let your son be. Let him explore who he is and where he came from. It won't hurt him, I promise. He is 18 and you have parented him all you can. His bio mom can't take anything from you, YOU ARE HIS MOTHER. Give your son the best 18th birthday gift you can give him............... your blessings (with a happy heart) to seek out his bio mom. Help him get a phone number, address, etc. Your son can call more than one person mom, but that doesn't negate the mothering that you have done. Your son KNOWS who his REAL mother is. [/QUOTE]
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