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difficult child wants to call his egg donor
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<blockquote data-quote="timer lady" data-source="post: 133584" data-attributes="member: 393"><p><strong>mstang,</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>I believe that kt will be looking to call biomom as soon as possible. When she or wm ask now why they cannot call bio mom or sibs I have simply told them the truth - this is all court ordered. The judge made the decisions for our family & the rest of the tweedles bio family because apparently bio mom couldn't or wouldn't.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>There has been a period of time when questioned, that tdocs simply told the tweedles that if bio mom had been making good & safe parenting decisions it would be a moot point - they would still be with bio mom. That has generally ended the conversation. Thankfully, it has taken any judgements or feelings I have toward bio mom on behalf of kt & wm off my shoulders.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>When kt has asked I tell her that I bet that she has bio mom gorgeous eyes & hair; and her talent for music & crafts. (kt just beams at that kind of talk)</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>I will support kt in her search for bio mom. I will, however, not allow bio mom to destroy all the years of therapy - all the years of "growth & improvement" to explain herself to them. </strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>I've already, as kt & wm's parents, shredded letters addressed to kt & wm. They were marked confidential & not to be opened until the age of 21. Guess what - my home, my children. I opened those letters & was appalled at the lack of responsibility this woman had taken as to why kt, wm & 2 more bio sibs didn't live with her. I shared these letters with attachment tdocs - didn't give him copies. I let him know that these letters were not going to undo any good we had done over the years. I was shredding them.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>therapist agreed with me. If I'm damned, so be it. There are just some things that cannot be allowed to happen if I have my say.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>I'm sorry - this is an emotionally charged situation. mustang, when our children are adopted at an older age, out of foster care - you know there was no "loving adoption plan" in place. This was a search & rescue mission. </strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>You've done your part. You've been & are an exceptional warrior mum. Nothing bio mum says or alludes to, can undo the foundation you have laid down for your difficult child. </strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>Let us know how it goes. I'm always watching you & others as the tweedles are a few years behind. </strong></p><p><strong></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="timer lady, post: 133584, member: 393"] [B]mstang, I believe that kt will be looking to call biomom as soon as possible. When she or wm ask now why they cannot call bio mom or sibs I have simply told them the truth - this is all court ordered. The judge made the decisions for our family & the rest of the tweedles bio family because apparently bio mom couldn't or wouldn't. There has been a period of time when questioned, that tdocs simply told the tweedles that if bio mom had been making good & safe parenting decisions it would be a moot point - they would still be with bio mom. That has generally ended the conversation. Thankfully, it has taken any judgements or feelings I have toward bio mom on behalf of kt & wm off my shoulders. When kt has asked I tell her that I bet that she has bio mom gorgeous eyes & hair; and her talent for music & crafts. (kt just beams at that kind of talk) I will support kt in her search for bio mom. I will, however, not allow bio mom to destroy all the years of therapy - all the years of "growth & improvement" to explain herself to them. I've already, as kt & wm's parents, shredded letters addressed to kt & wm. They were marked confidential & not to be opened until the age of 21. Guess what - my home, my children. I opened those letters & was appalled at the lack of responsibility this woman had taken as to why kt, wm & 2 more bio sibs didn't live with her. I shared these letters with attachment tdocs - didn't give him copies. I let him know that these letters were not going to undo any good we had done over the years. I was shredding them. therapist agreed with me. If I'm damned, so be it. There are just some things that cannot be allowed to happen if I have my say. I'm sorry - this is an emotionally charged situation. mustang, when our children are adopted at an older age, out of foster care - you know there was no "loving adoption plan" in place. This was a search & rescue mission. You've done your part. You've been & are an exceptional warrior mum. Nothing bio mum says or alludes to, can undo the foundation you have laid down for your difficult child. Let us know how it goes. I'm always watching you & others as the tweedles are a few years behind. [/B] [/QUOTE]
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