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difficult child wants to call his egg donor
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 133600" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>My daughter knows her biomom. It was never an issue for me. She's MY daughter. She knows that. No person can be loved too much. Her biomom may have stunk at motherhood, is an alcoholic but she loves her kid. No one can be loved too much or by too many is my opinion.</p><p> </p><p>I would not want my daughter to see her biomom alone, however. I don't trust the woman to not make inappropriate comments. Not out of any meanness but simply because she is who she is and while my daughter will be 21 soon, she is still very young and doesn't need nor deserve any guilt trips by biomom.</p><p> </p><p>Most adopted children have fantasies about their bio family. Many times, it takes the reality of seeing and hearing to let those fantasies go. Your son has heard a lot of negatives about his biomom. It makes him want to be her savior. This is a hard one to get by -- for him and for those who love him.</p><p> </p><p>As you said, he'll be 18 and you can't legally stop him. The best you can do is guide him, let him know you'll be there for him and support his decisions the best you can. Saying negative things about his biomom are simply going to make him want to protect her even more.</p><p> </p><p>Best scenario, he'll see her and be satisfied. Worst case, he'll be sucked into her life and make the same bad decisions she has. The most likely is that he will go there, stay with her awhile and see that there is nothing he can do to save her and come back home. Let's hope that is the path he will take.</p><p> </p><p>Does anyone have any idea how biomom feels about his coming to visit? You can hope she has the decency and common sense to simply meet him but not allow more than that.</p><p> </p><p>I'm sorry you're going through this. It really is hard to watch our children make a decision we know is truly bad for them. Sometimes those bad decisions help our children grow, sometimes they just hurt. Hopefully, this one will help him become a better adult.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 133600, member: 3626"] My daughter knows her biomom. It was never an issue for me. She's MY daughter. She knows that. No person can be loved too much. Her biomom may have stunk at motherhood, is an alcoholic but she loves her kid. No one can be loved too much or by too many is my opinion. I would not want my daughter to see her biomom alone, however. I don't trust the woman to not make inappropriate comments. Not out of any meanness but simply because she is who she is and while my daughter will be 21 soon, she is still very young and doesn't need nor deserve any guilt trips by biomom. Most adopted children have fantasies about their bio family. Many times, it takes the reality of seeing and hearing to let those fantasies go. Your son has heard a lot of negatives about his biomom. It makes him want to be her savior. This is a hard one to get by -- for him and for those who love him. As you said, he'll be 18 and you can't legally stop him. The best you can do is guide him, let him know you'll be there for him and support his decisions the best you can. Saying negative things about his biomom are simply going to make him want to protect her even more. Best scenario, he'll see her and be satisfied. Worst case, he'll be sucked into her life and make the same bad decisions she has. The most likely is that he will go there, stay with her awhile and see that there is nothing he can do to save her and come back home. Let's hope that is the path he will take. Does anyone have any idea how biomom feels about his coming to visit? You can hope she has the decency and common sense to simply meet him but not allow more than that. I'm sorry you're going through this. It really is hard to watch our children make a decision we know is truly bad for them. Sometimes those bad decisions help our children grow, sometimes they just hurt. Hopefully, this one will help him become a better adult. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child wants to call his egg donor
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