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difficult child wants to call his egg donor
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<blockquote data-quote="mstang67chic" data-source="post: 133700" data-attributes="member: 2459"><p>I don't know how she feels about my difficult child specifically but to give you an idea on how this woman thinks....</p><p></p><p>At one point during the time when she still either had her kids or was in the midst of court, her sister and brother in law were fighting to get the 3 kids. (they eventually did but that was a whole other story in itself) Egg donor flat out told her sister "Go ahead and take my kids. <strong>I'll just make more</strong>."</p><p></p><p>Also, according to G'ma, ED made a comment around the time that difficult child's next oldest sib turned 18. She said something about how another one of her kids was 18 and she wondered how long it would be before she heard from her. It was like her whole attitude was that even though she was a horrible mother and allowed or did awful things to her kids, they were going to come back to her in the end and she would be there waiting to recieve them like a Queen with her court. G'ma asked her if she honestly thought that was a good idea given the way that ED is living. </p><p></p><p>Egg donor is a huge difficult child in her own right. Drugs, alcohol, sex, lack of responsibility, above the law.....the whole shebang. Last I knew, she was still with the father of her last child (and this child is still with her) and still up to her old tricks. According to G'ma, this guy isn't that great either. He also drinks to excess, drugs and I suspect, isn't the most non-violent person on the planet. A few years ago, ED was spotted at a gas staion by the police. The cops are very familiar with her and knew that at that time, she wasn't supposed to be driving due to a suspended license. They tried to pull her over and she led them on a low speed chase to her house. Apparently she figured that if she got home with H (the child she still has), the cops wouldn't take H away from her. When she finally stopped, the police surrounded her vehicle with guns drawn......keep in mind that H was in the vehicle too and was only about 3 or 4 at the time. The also found drugs and paraphanelia in the vehicle but somehow, she STILL HAS CUSTODY OF THIS CHILD! I honestly don't know why this is so and I don't know why this woman isn't doing some major time. </p><p></p><p>Supposedly, she knows that G'ma knows where difficult child is and that she still has contact with him. She's never asked about him although I don't know if that's because she knows G'ma won't tell her anything or because she figures that once he's 18 he'll come running back to her. Honestly about the only positive thing I can say about this woman is that she makes pretty babies. </p><p></p><p>The problem I have with this whole situation isn't the typical adoptive parent scared of losing their adoptive child. It's that I KNOW that if he visits or lives with her, it's going to **** him into her drug induced, fantasy laced world. difficult child doesn't have the best sense of right or wrong to begin with and for him to go to the woman that used to use him and his siblings to steal.....I'm sure you get the idea. I'm just hoping that once he sees her, he'll lose the really thick rose colored glasses that he wears in regards to her. But then again, who knows. She's not going to have the same rules and expectations that husband and I have of him. No rules there vs. rules and expectations of being a functioning, productive member of society here really isn't going to be a contest. </p><p></p><p>Linda, you hit the nail on the head with the explanations. That's the same thing we've told difficult child over the years. At the time, it was the best we could do. Now, I have started second guessing ourselves over that. We were always told to not badmouth the birth parents as the kids could see this as an extension to themselves. I understand that concept, I do. But now, after years of difficult child hearing that it is the judge's decision that BM can't see him, he has completely altered his memories of that time. I know she's his mother, he spent years in her custody and loves her. But he just doesn't seem to remember the horrible parts. </p><p></p><p>I even had the brief thought of a restraining order go through my head. I'm sure though, that there isn't a legitimate reason to get one and that would just make things worse between difficult child and us. If he was more mature I wouldn't worry so much. Then I would know that he would see her for what she really is and not be influenced. But with the level he's at.......like Linda said, I worry that she's going to undo any positives that we've accomplished with him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mstang67chic, post: 133700, member: 2459"] I don't know how she feels about my difficult child specifically but to give you an idea on how this woman thinks.... At one point during the time when she still either had her kids or was in the midst of court, her sister and brother in law were fighting to get the 3 kids. (they eventually did but that was a whole other story in itself) Egg donor flat out told her sister "Go ahead and take my kids. [B]I'll just make more[/B]." Also, according to G'ma, ED made a comment around the time that difficult child's next oldest sib turned 18. She said something about how another one of her kids was 18 and she wondered how long it would be before she heard from her. It was like her whole attitude was that even though she was a horrible mother and allowed or did awful things to her kids, they were going to come back to her in the end and she would be there waiting to recieve them like a Queen with her court. G'ma asked her if she honestly thought that was a good idea given the way that ED is living. Egg donor is a huge difficult child in her own right. Drugs, alcohol, sex, lack of responsibility, above the law.....the whole shebang. Last I knew, she was still with the father of her last child (and this child is still with her) and still up to her old tricks. According to G'ma, this guy isn't that great either. He also drinks to excess, drugs and I suspect, isn't the most non-violent person on the planet. A few years ago, ED was spotted at a gas staion by the police. The cops are very familiar with her and knew that at that time, she wasn't supposed to be driving due to a suspended license. They tried to pull her over and she led them on a low speed chase to her house. Apparently she figured that if she got home with H (the child she still has), the cops wouldn't take H away from her. When she finally stopped, the police surrounded her vehicle with guns drawn......keep in mind that H was in the vehicle too and was only about 3 or 4 at the time. The also found drugs and paraphanelia in the vehicle but somehow, she STILL HAS CUSTODY OF THIS CHILD! I honestly don't know why this is so and I don't know why this woman isn't doing some major time. Supposedly, she knows that G'ma knows where difficult child is and that she still has contact with him. She's never asked about him although I don't know if that's because she knows G'ma won't tell her anything or because she figures that once he's 18 he'll come running back to her. Honestly about the only positive thing I can say about this woman is that she makes pretty babies. The problem I have with this whole situation isn't the typical adoptive parent scared of losing their adoptive child. It's that I KNOW that if he visits or lives with her, it's going to **** him into her drug induced, fantasy laced world. difficult child doesn't have the best sense of right or wrong to begin with and for him to go to the woman that used to use him and his siblings to steal.....I'm sure you get the idea. I'm just hoping that once he sees her, he'll lose the really thick rose colored glasses that he wears in regards to her. But then again, who knows. She's not going to have the same rules and expectations that husband and I have of him. No rules there vs. rules and expectations of being a functioning, productive member of society here really isn't going to be a contest. Linda, you hit the nail on the head with the explanations. That's the same thing we've told difficult child over the years. At the time, it was the best we could do. Now, I have started second guessing ourselves over that. We were always told to not badmouth the birth parents as the kids could see this as an extension to themselves. I understand that concept, I do. But now, after years of difficult child hearing that it is the judge's decision that BM can't see him, he has completely altered his memories of that time. I know she's his mother, he spent years in her custody and loves her. But he just doesn't seem to remember the horrible parts. I even had the brief thought of a restraining order go through my head. I'm sure though, that there isn't a legitimate reason to get one and that would just make things worse between difficult child and us. If he was more mature I wouldn't worry so much. Then I would know that he would see her for what she really is and not be influenced. But with the level he's at.......like Linda said, I worry that she's going to undo any positives that we've accomplished with him. [/QUOTE]
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