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General Parenting
difficult child was suspended; horrible outlook :(
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 93515" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>If you are considering either home school or Montessori, I think you would do better all round with home schooling.</p><p></p><p>Not that Montessori isn't great for a lot of kids who learn differently, but with Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) there can often be other issues which cause problems. If he's being 'triggered' by mishandling at school, he could just as easily be triggered at Montessori, simply because there are a number of other people around each with their own activities and needs; the sounds alone could be enough to make life difficult for him.</p><p></p><p>Also, Montessori's very flexibility makes it harder for some kids - they like routine and structure and the more people there are around who are free-wheeling, the more distracted our kids can get.</p><p></p><p>It's also expensive - worth it if it suits your kid and you are the sort of parent who will pay whatever it takes to help the child; but not worth it if for your child it's just exchanging one set of problems for another.</p><p></p><p>To check it out, make an appointment at the Montessori school you're thinking of and take difficult child with you (if they permit). See how he interacts, see how the other children and staff interact. Analyse the environment as if you're seeing it through his eyes and feeling it through his skin. Also watch him and how he seems to feel.</p><p></p><p>I like Montessori. I would have put difficult child 3 in one if we could have got a placement, but with hindsight he would not have done as well as he is at home, simply because at home he can choose quietness. I've been surprised by the amount of quiet difficult child 3 seems to need, I never would have realised. In class in mainstream he was permitted to listen to music on his CD player, while doing bookwork. The idea was to drown out the classroom noises. But it simply wasn't enough - he is vibration-sensitive too. There is building work going on in our village, a kilometre away. And sometimes although he can't hear anything, the feel of the ground being pounded is enough to stop him from working effectively. I've had to take him for a walk to find what is making the vibration, before he can settle.</p><p></p><p>In a situation like this you can fight, or you can walk away. If you choose to fight you have to be sure your child can weather the fallout. You also have to have some idea of what supports you want the school to put in place. You can't just say, "He needs help," you need to say, "I need you to give him a quiet space he can use for being apart if he feels he is not coping," or "He needs extension in this subject and remedial support in that one," or "he needs someone to work with him to keep him on task." If you can be sure that you CAN specify exactly what you want the school to provide, and that it WILL help him, then fight on. But if there is just too much needed, t hen trying to shove your square peg into the round holes provided is only going to teach your child that he can never achieve, anywhere and that he will always be punished simply for who he is, not for anything he can control.</p><p></p><p>Trying to change THAT will lead to a child too damaged to achieve his potential.</p><p></p><p>Good luck. And do post this in Special Education, so t he ideas and knowledge there can help.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 93515, member: 1991"] If you are considering either home school or Montessori, I think you would do better all round with home schooling. Not that Montessori isn't great for a lot of kids who learn differently, but with Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) there can often be other issues which cause problems. If he's being 'triggered' by mishandling at school, he could just as easily be triggered at Montessori, simply because there are a number of other people around each with their own activities and needs; the sounds alone could be enough to make life difficult for him. Also, Montessori's very flexibility makes it harder for some kids - they like routine and structure and the more people there are around who are free-wheeling, the more distracted our kids can get. It's also expensive - worth it if it suits your kid and you are the sort of parent who will pay whatever it takes to help the child; but not worth it if for your child it's just exchanging one set of problems for another. To check it out, make an appointment at the Montessori school you're thinking of and take difficult child with you (if they permit). See how he interacts, see how the other children and staff interact. Analyse the environment as if you're seeing it through his eyes and feeling it through his skin. Also watch him and how he seems to feel. I like Montessori. I would have put difficult child 3 in one if we could have got a placement, but with hindsight he would not have done as well as he is at home, simply because at home he can choose quietness. I've been surprised by the amount of quiet difficult child 3 seems to need, I never would have realised. In class in mainstream he was permitted to listen to music on his CD player, while doing bookwork. The idea was to drown out the classroom noises. But it simply wasn't enough - he is vibration-sensitive too. There is building work going on in our village, a kilometre away. And sometimes although he can't hear anything, the feel of the ground being pounded is enough to stop him from working effectively. I've had to take him for a walk to find what is making the vibration, before he can settle. In a situation like this you can fight, or you can walk away. If you choose to fight you have to be sure your child can weather the fallout. You also have to have some idea of what supports you want the school to put in place. You can't just say, "He needs help," you need to say, "I need you to give him a quiet space he can use for being apart if he feels he is not coping," or "He needs extension in this subject and remedial support in that one," or "he needs someone to work with him to keep him on task." If you can be sure that you CAN specify exactly what you want the school to provide, and that it WILL help him, then fight on. But if there is just too much needed, t hen trying to shove your square peg into the round holes provided is only going to teach your child that he can never achieve, anywhere and that he will always be punished simply for who he is, not for anything he can control. Trying to change THAT will lead to a child too damaged to achieve his potential. Good luck. And do post this in Special Education, so t he ideas and knowledge there can help. Marg [/QUOTE]
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