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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 321762" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Well, trust me I would take that approach except that's what I've done for the past four years, in a way, but difficult child sees the other people's opinions as justifying what he does because when he gets in that mode, I think he honestly believes that they are supporting that, so it's not his fault. And it's me that ends up living with the fear of violence and court orders, etc. So that is out. I'm sticking to my guns this time. If they are stupid enough to think they have a better place for difficult child to live that will "empower" hiim more, give him more privileges, and NOT abuse him or neglect him or subject him to an environment where these things will happen, then they are going to ahve to take responsibility for that.</p><p></p><p>Funny how you talked about the therapist- she has gone on and on about how she thinks I know so much about this stuff and I really must have researched it a lot and so forth. I don't know if she's just blowing smoke up my rear or not but between my therapy, what I learn from this board, what I know about living with difficult child, what I learned from difficult child's previous opinions from respected psychiatrists who evaluation'd difficult child, and what I've read, I am confident that my rules didn't cause this problem and changing them won't fix it. And the mixed messages that society sends our kids and lack of support that parents get causes a whole lot more problems than the parents' rules, in my humble opinion.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 321762, member: 3699"] Well, trust me I would take that approach except that's what I've done for the past four years, in a way, but difficult child sees the other people's opinions as justifying what he does because when he gets in that mode, I think he honestly believes that they are supporting that, so it's not his fault. And it's me that ends up living with the fear of violence and court orders, etc. So that is out. I'm sticking to my guns this time. If they are stupid enough to think they have a better place for difficult child to live that will "empower" hiim more, give him more privileges, and NOT abuse him or neglect him or subject him to an environment where these things will happen, then they are going to ahve to take responsibility for that. Funny how you talked about the therapist- she has gone on and on about how she thinks I know so much about this stuff and I really must have researched it a lot and so forth. I don't know if she's just blowing smoke up my rear or not but between my therapy, what I learn from this board, what I know about living with difficult child, what I learned from difficult child's previous opinions from respected psychiatrists who evaluation'd difficult child, and what I've read, I am confident that my rules didn't cause this problem and changing them won't fix it. And the mixed messages that society sends our kids and lack of support that parents get causes a whole lot more problems than the parents' rules, in my humble opinion. [/QUOTE]
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