Hello,
I do not want you to take this as a criticism, but allowing a boy to skip a grade is rarely a good solution to "being ahead " intellectually. It is very difficult to be the most immature, shortest, etc. boy in a middle school. About the only good thing I can think of that might come of this is YOU will have control of him all the way through h.s. No turning 18 in the middle of the school year that sometimes mucks things up.
I empathize with your having a difficult child who is "different" in positive as well as negative ways. It makes it difficult for others to understand that just because his performance is there one day, does not mean it will be there the next. It is good to have teachers who recognize that his work production varies with his mood.
I worked really hard to keep my ex-gg in high school to graduate with his class. I was lucky in that in the grade he entered in Kdg, he still didn't turn 18 until May of his senior year, leaving very little time to exercise his "adulthood." He could have been and early entrant to conservatory but I thought he did not need to go to college at 17--too many maturity questions and basically, there is no supervision at all, even in residence halls that I can detect for my two kids--or studetns at the university I work for.
One other thing that happens to SOME boys who have a terrible young adolescence: if they are not too hurt by the bullies, and avoid drugs, many get a bit better around 16. I know that seems forever away for you, but it is a goal to work toward: a relatively "reasonable" difficult child at 16 can make progress in my opinion as long as you continue to be aware that the mood disorder will always make things "different." It is easier to be a mood disordered young adult than kid--there are fewer people telling you what to do at the worst times. At least this is what I believe and have experienced with a child who has a long Hx of depression and self-destructive behaviors--however, no overt problems after age 15.5
I hope you can find a way to get your difficult child through middle school. I know it is very hard.
Martie
