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Parent Emeritus
difficult child's joblessness is getting to me. Not sure where to go from here
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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 551884" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>Dash--</p><p></p><p>I hope you don't feel as if I am badgering you....</p><p></p><p>I am trying to say that I don't think she is CAPABLE of taking those small steps right now. I think she has to be "taught" how to start thinking of herself as a responsible adult. I think she considers a career a very abstract thing right now. She knows that o<em>ther </em>people have them - she just cannot fathom <em>herself</em> in one.</p><p></p><p>And when one cannot envision a thing - one cannot do it.</p><p></p><p>That's what I have seen in my own difficult child in regards to future choices. She comes up with all the fantastic career goals....goals that have no reality. Slowly, slowly we've had to demonstrate to her the thought process involved in making "real-life" decisions. We do a lot of "What if....?" scenarios. difficult child's initial repsonse is usually flustered - she seems to have no ability to plan or choose or prepare for contingencies....so we will re-visit the same "What if...?" over and over again. Eventually, she comes to understand that she can make choices. She can make a plan....and a second-choice if something goes wrong....but in many ways she is still trying to figure this out and so we are still working on this.</p><p></p><p>I think your difficult child may need to work on those skills, too.</p><p></p><p>It's wonderful that you got her that career book...and a typical person might have gotten inspired and decided to make some choices based on the info in the book. But I'll bet that your daughter read the book as though it did not apply to her personally. She really needs somebody (maybe the counselor) to connect the dots for her. She needs to learn how she can choose and plan for herself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 551884, member: 6546"] Dash-- I hope you don't feel as if I am badgering you.... I am trying to say that I don't think she is CAPABLE of taking those small steps right now. I think she has to be "taught" how to start thinking of herself as a responsible adult. I think she considers a career a very abstract thing right now. She knows that o[I]ther [/I]people have them - she just cannot fathom [I]herself[/I] in one. And when one cannot envision a thing - one cannot do it. That's what I have seen in my own difficult child in regards to future choices. She comes up with all the fantastic career goals....goals that have no reality. Slowly, slowly we've had to demonstrate to her the thought process involved in making "real-life" decisions. We do a lot of "What if....?" scenarios. difficult child's initial repsonse is usually flustered - she seems to have no ability to plan or choose or prepare for contingencies....so we will re-visit the same "What if...?" over and over again. Eventually, she comes to understand that she can make choices. She can make a plan....and a second-choice if something goes wrong....but in many ways she is still trying to figure this out and so we are still working on this. I think your difficult child may need to work on those skills, too. It's wonderful that you got her that career book...and a typical person might have gotten inspired and decided to make some choices based on the info in the book. But I'll bet that your daughter read the book as though it did not apply to her personally. She really needs somebody (maybe the counselor) to connect the dots for her. She needs to learn how she can choose and plan for herself. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child's joblessness is getting to me. Not sure where to go from here
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