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difficult child's mouth can make you see red
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<blockquote data-quote="HeadlightsMom" data-source="post: 637284" data-attributes="member: 18284"><p>GM --- I have experienced similar. I have reacted similarly (as you). It got so toxic for me it took me into a bleeding ulcer. DONE! We did boot our difficult child out (at age 16). We have tried a couple of times to have him back for short periods of time, but it just never works for very long. But I cannot and WILL not continue to live in that toxic state. Can't do it, won't do it, haven't done it, not gonna do it ever again. It just got to that point where I no longer gave a damn what anyone thought. It was killing me......literally eating my insides out. Forget that! I WANT TO LIVE!</p><p></p><p>PatriotsGirl --- I can relate to your story and your responses, as well. Our difficult child is doing fine at the moment, but, well.....we all know how things can go ballistic pronto.</p><p></p><p>SuZir ---- Feel like I'm jumping into this late. Did your difficult child have some sort of accident? Hopefully recovery time is fast so your stressful, living together time is short.</p><p></p><p>MWM --- Yep, yep, yep and yep!</p><p></p><p>GM ----- When I was in the thick of things (like you are now with your difficult child living there), I was a mess. It's like trying to hang onto an electric fence for years. It's just that jolting. When we booted difficult child out, it was basically during a police call and there was no thought to it at all. I'd just hit my limit. I didn't care who saw it (police and all). And then difficult child was gone..........and I could breathe. Breathe. Forget walking on egg shells in my own home. Within 2-3 days, I began to recover. Within a month, I began to feel much more like myself again (the non-PTSD me). Within a year I began to marvel that I lasted as long as I did under the same roof with difficult child. Our relationship with difficult child is pretty good right now (surprisingly), but we are well aware it may not stay good. It's very much moment-to-moment. So we are extra thankful for good moments when they appear, as they may or may not last.</p><p></p><p>And now, 8 years down the road, there is life. My relationship with difficult child is better because I set down REALLY strong boundaries. I wasn't born that strong, I had to learn it. And I did. And so are you, GM. I think your anger is a sign of your strength emerging. Your sense of self and survival is solidifying. You are standing up for YOU. That's ok. That's good. That's healthy. You can get YOUR life back.</p><p></p><p>I have come to know how critical tangible, clear boundaries are for my life. Especially in my home. I always need a safe place to be. And that should be my home.</p><p></p><p>GM ---- My thoughts are with you! Your post really touched me as I can relate to much of it. All I can say here is that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Keep traveling toward that light of non-toxicity. It'll make life better for you and everyone else (including your difficult child).</p><p></p><p>SEnding hugs your way!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HeadlightsMom, post: 637284, member: 18284"] GM --- I have experienced similar. I have reacted similarly (as you). It got so toxic for me it took me into a bleeding ulcer. DONE! We did boot our difficult child out (at age 16). We have tried a couple of times to have him back for short periods of time, but it just never works for very long. But I cannot and WILL not continue to live in that toxic state. Can't do it, won't do it, haven't done it, not gonna do it ever again. It just got to that point where I no longer gave a damn what anyone thought. It was killing me......literally eating my insides out. Forget that! I WANT TO LIVE! PatriotsGirl --- I can relate to your story and your responses, as well. Our difficult child is doing fine at the moment, but, well.....we all know how things can go ballistic pronto. SuZir ---- Feel like I'm jumping into this late. Did your difficult child have some sort of accident? Hopefully recovery time is fast so your stressful, living together time is short. MWM --- Yep, yep, yep and yep! GM ----- When I was in the thick of things (like you are now with your difficult child living there), I was a mess. It's like trying to hang onto an electric fence for years. It's just that jolting. When we booted difficult child out, it was basically during a police call and there was no thought to it at all. I'd just hit my limit. I didn't care who saw it (police and all). And then difficult child was gone..........and I could breathe. Breathe. Forget walking on egg shells in my own home. Within 2-3 days, I began to recover. Within a month, I began to feel much more like myself again (the non-PTSD me). Within a year I began to marvel that I lasted as long as I did under the same roof with difficult child. Our relationship with difficult child is pretty good right now (surprisingly), but we are well aware it may not stay good. It's very much moment-to-moment. So we are extra thankful for good moments when they appear, as they may or may not last. And now, 8 years down the road, there is life. My relationship with difficult child is better because I set down REALLY strong boundaries. I wasn't born that strong, I had to learn it. And I did. And so are you, GM. I think your anger is a sign of your strength emerging. Your sense of self and survival is solidifying. You are standing up for YOU. That's ok. That's good. That's healthy. You can get YOUR life back. I have come to know how critical tangible, clear boundaries are for my life. Especially in my home. I always need a safe place to be. And that should be my home. GM ---- My thoughts are with you! Your post really touched me as I can relate to much of it. All I can say here is that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Keep traveling toward that light of non-toxicity. It'll make life better for you and everyone else (including your difficult child). SEnding hugs your way! [/QUOTE]
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