Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
difficult child's plan
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 314530" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>Hi Nancy,</p><p>so sorry you have to deal with this. You do sound like you know what's what though and that is good! My difficult child 1 and her boyfriend moved into an apt. together--we provided the security deposit, knowing full well we would never see it again. They paid a couple months rent and then made up all kinds of stories for the landlord about when they'd have money, etc. They finally just disappeared and left all their stuff there and the place was so trashed it was disgusting. That's when my husband and I went to retrieve some of her stuff and found they had left the pet rat to fend for himself. I was very glad we didn't co-sign anything. </p><p></p><p>They did the same thing in Seattle--moved out there, supposedly split up. difficult child called us crying because she was homeless and boyfriend had left her. We offered to help her come back to our city (though we didn't really want her back here) but she turned us down, wanted to try to make it out there. We used some of her college savings to get her set up in an apt., all the while knowing boyfriend might actually be in the picture. Sure enough, he was--it was just a scam to get us to help her. I didn't feel too bad about it though because we did it with our eyes open and I knew the money was unlikely to ever be used for college anyway so might as well get her set up out there and not have her living near us.</p><p></p><p>I think you just have to figure out what you are willing to do, what you can live with without feeling you are enabling or knowing you might be getting scammed but you do it for your own reasons. Sounds like you are there--you know darn well the boyfriend will move right in with her and you are not willing to support him. I think you have things figured out and that helps you stay strong with a decision. Anything I do now for my difficult child is done with my eyes wide open and is done according to how I will feel about my decision--if I give her money it isn't out of guilt or with a feeling that I "have to" do it. I do it because in the situation it will give me peace of mind (or don't do it because I will feel resentful).</p><p></p><p>Anyway, I want to say I think you have your head on straight and you sound very strong to me! Congrats!</p><p></p><p>jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 314530, member: 3450"] Hi Nancy, so sorry you have to deal with this. You do sound like you know what's what though and that is good! My difficult child 1 and her boyfriend moved into an apt. together--we provided the security deposit, knowing full well we would never see it again. They paid a couple months rent and then made up all kinds of stories for the landlord about when they'd have money, etc. They finally just disappeared and left all their stuff there and the place was so trashed it was disgusting. That's when my husband and I went to retrieve some of her stuff and found they had left the pet rat to fend for himself. I was very glad we didn't co-sign anything. They did the same thing in Seattle--moved out there, supposedly split up. difficult child called us crying because she was homeless and boyfriend had left her. We offered to help her come back to our city (though we didn't really want her back here) but she turned us down, wanted to try to make it out there. We used some of her college savings to get her set up in an apt., all the while knowing boyfriend might actually be in the picture. Sure enough, he was--it was just a scam to get us to help her. I didn't feel too bad about it though because we did it with our eyes open and I knew the money was unlikely to ever be used for college anyway so might as well get her set up out there and not have her living near us. I think you just have to figure out what you are willing to do, what you can live with without feeling you are enabling or knowing you might be getting scammed but you do it for your own reasons. Sounds like you are there--you know darn well the boyfriend will move right in with her and you are not willing to support him. I think you have things figured out and that helps you stay strong with a decision. Anything I do now for my difficult child is done with my eyes wide open and is done according to how I will feel about my decision--if I give her money it isn't out of guilt or with a feeling that I "have to" do it. I do it because in the situation it will give me peace of mind (or don't do it because I will feel resentful). Anyway, I want to say I think you have your head on straight and you sound very strong to me! Congrats! jane [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
difficult child's plan
Top