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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 630329" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>Echo, first of all that is such wonderful news! </p><p></p><p>I have no advice to give, but these are the questions that occur to me.</p><p></p><p>First, I am relatively new and don't know all of the history of your son. But from what I have followed since I have been here, this seems like it is new and hard-fought territory for him. Is that true? </p><p></p><p>It sounds like he read your pain-filled letter describing who he has become and decided he does not want to be that person anymore. And going to meetings, working to pay his expenses and getting a support system is HUGE. When I say my prayers, I always include "Echo's son, who is living under a bridge," so this kind of progress is tremendous! Do you feel this is sincere? Or is he just doing it to get into your graces?</p><p></p><p>How does he respond to having the pressure eased up? My son is doing well right now, because he's working 12 hours a day in the hot sun, has to attend AA meetings daily, knows if he doesn't pay his rent or has a drink he will be instantly homeless, etc. If I let him move back home at this stage, if the hammer was eased up even a little, I believe it wouldn't be long before he'd be back where he was.</p><p></p><p>Are there any alternative clean and sober living facilities available? (Something the boyfriend of SO might know about?) The one difficult child is at now is very small, all guys his age and off the radar. I am wondering if there is anything like that, where your difficult child would feel like he is part of a group. It sounds to me like he needs to be part of a group somehow, or he is going to go back to his friends under the bridge.</p><p></p><p>If he is sincere, if this is new ground, if it won't encourage a relapse and if he has nowhere else to go, I would probably give it a shot for his sake.</p><p></p><p>But for your sake, to be blunt, is it going to make everybody exhausted to the point of crazy? And if so, are there ways to build in safe retreats ahead of time? I would say no, if there is no way to depressurize. Everybody needs a sanctuary. </p><p></p><p>Either way, it sounds like a lot to take on, and I'm sorry you're dealing with it. But I'm so very happy to read about where he is at today!</p><p></p><p>I am very naive in the ways of our difficult children, but these are the things I would need to think about first. And by the way, the "cigarettes and beret" line was hysterical!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 630329, member: 17720"] Echo, first of all that is such wonderful news! I have no advice to give, but these are the questions that occur to me. First, I am relatively new and don't know all of the history of your son. But from what I have followed since I have been here, this seems like it is new and hard-fought territory for him. Is that true? It sounds like he read your pain-filled letter describing who he has become and decided he does not want to be that person anymore. And going to meetings, working to pay his expenses and getting a support system is HUGE. When I say my prayers, I always include "Echo's son, who is living under a bridge," so this kind of progress is tremendous! Do you feel this is sincere? Or is he just doing it to get into your graces? How does he respond to having the pressure eased up? My son is doing well right now, because he's working 12 hours a day in the hot sun, has to attend AA meetings daily, knows if he doesn't pay his rent or has a drink he will be instantly homeless, etc. If I let him move back home at this stage, if the hammer was eased up even a little, I believe it wouldn't be long before he'd be back where he was. Are there any alternative clean and sober living facilities available? (Something the boyfriend of SO might know about?) The one difficult child is at now is very small, all guys his age and off the radar. I am wondering if there is anything like that, where your difficult child would feel like he is part of a group. It sounds to me like he needs to be part of a group somehow, or he is going to go back to his friends under the bridge. If he is sincere, if this is new ground, if it won't encourage a relapse and if he has nowhere else to go, I would probably give it a shot for his sake. But for your sake, to be blunt, is it going to make everybody exhausted to the point of crazy? And if so, are there ways to build in safe retreats ahead of time? I would say no, if there is no way to depressurize. Everybody needs a sanctuary. Either way, it sounds like a lot to take on, and I'm sorry you're dealing with it. But I'm so very happy to read about where he is at today! I am very naive in the ways of our difficult children, but these are the things I would need to think about first. And by the way, the "cigarettes and beret" line was hysterical! [/QUOTE]
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