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difficult child's Respond To Tough Parents?
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 164296" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Late last Summer and through the fall when my difficult child was battling his worst part of whatever he is going through, he would mention that he felt evil inside. He was afraid that he would hurt someone. </p><p> </p><p>Then about a month ago in a counceling session, something was said to the effect that I am afraid of what will happen to him in the future when I am unable to stop his bad behavior. That really scared him and I needed to explain that I was not talking about physically stopping him but when will he stop listening to me? What will happen when he decides he is tired of trying to be a good person and is just going to do what the moment brings? That he really needs to be in control of himself and know what he can and can not do.</p><p> </p><p>So, I think our young difficult child's feel safe when they are around strong people. And I don't think they only look for physical strength. They also are looking for role models, people who are cool because they are making strong decisions to do the right thing.</p><p> </p><p>My difficult child has so many leadership qualities in him as I bet most difficult child's do. They really do want things done justly and fairly and are learning how to do so. It's just that some things they are just not "getting" - when it is o.k. to forgive someone (why do we expect everyone else to be so perfect?) - when things don't have to go as scheduled - when we can follow Plan B and have it be o.k. and fun - why we don't have to own everything under the sun - etc.</p><p></p><p>difficult child's do feel some strength and are learning from us how to use it. They feel some power within and want us to show them how to use it the proper way - ways in not to hurt others but still make it feel good. They think if there was no one holding back that power at times, they can hurt someone. Their saving grace is they really are kind hearted. They really do want to be at peace where everyone is safe and happy. They just don't get how that can happen. They just don't get their part in it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 164296, member: 5096"] Late last Summer and through the fall when my difficult child was battling his worst part of whatever he is going through, he would mention that he felt evil inside. He was afraid that he would hurt someone. Then about a month ago in a counceling session, something was said to the effect that I am afraid of what will happen to him in the future when I am unable to stop his bad behavior. That really scared him and I needed to explain that I was not talking about physically stopping him but when will he stop listening to me? What will happen when he decides he is tired of trying to be a good person and is just going to do what the moment brings? That he really needs to be in control of himself and know what he can and can not do. So, I think our young difficult child's feel safe when they are around strong people. And I don't think they only look for physical strength. They also are looking for role models, people who are cool because they are making strong decisions to do the right thing. My difficult child has so many leadership qualities in him as I bet most difficult child's do. They really do want things done justly and fairly and are learning how to do so. It's just that some things they are just not "getting" - when it is o.k. to forgive someone (why do we expect everyone else to be so perfect?) - when things don't have to go as scheduled - when we can follow Plan B and have it be o.k. and fun - why we don't have to own everything under the sun - etc. difficult child's do feel some strength and are learning from us how to use it. They feel some power within and want us to show them how to use it the proper way - ways in not to hurt others but still make it feel good. They think if there was no one holding back that power at times, they can hurt someone. Their saving grace is they really are kind hearted. They really do want to be at peace where everyone is safe and happy. They just don't get how that can happen. They just don't get their part in it. [/QUOTE]
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