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difficult child's social skills, how on earth is he so uneven
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 576562" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>MWM: One thing that is different between your unlikeable child and mine. Mine probably couldn't sell water well in Sahara or central heating to Eskimos. He is often <strong>that </strong>obnoxious to strangers outside of certain situations like interviews. could of course be lack of effort. And he does have some very good relationships. Many just not friends exactly. But for example he and easy child have a good relationship mostly. There are some sibling rivalry and jealousy issues, but they do rely on each other and their relationship is warm and loving (oh and how they would hate me putting it like that <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" />) difficult child also has good relationships to his cousins and some of the bit older players in his team. He even does have few (very few) same age friends, they just happen to be all over the world.</p><p></p><p>It is also curious how while he does have these clear Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)-spectrum traits, some he doesn't have at all. Of course every aspie is different, but still most tend to have certain clusters of traits. And for example difficult child has never had language related asperger traits. His language development was always very typical, he has always talked local dialect and didn't even copy the more general language from books like many kids do, when they are read a lot. Still he has never had a problem to turn on the 'general speak' either in writing or talking. And he does this in both of his main languages. He has never had problems with taking things too literal and has always understood idioms, metaphors etc. in age appropriate level.</p><p></p><p>While he has had deep interests, they have not been 'aspie-level', there has always been many of them going on same time and they have been broader than special interests often are. Okay, he was two when he decided he wants to do what he does now and that sport and that position was his favourite from then on. But he liked a lot about the other competitive sports too, he never got obsessed with any thin sector of his sport, and it was always more about doing the sport than for example knowing stats, probabilities etc. Those have really started to get his attention only when his coaches have started to demand his attention to them. And other wise he is mathematically inclined, so it isn't that he wouldn't like math. Some of his other interests were maybe more 'typical aspie' like knowing all and everything about dinosaurs when he was five or six and magic tricks later. But then again with the dinosaurs, so was every other boy at that time. They were a huge hit with boys back then. And he doesn't have that on/off attitude to interests I have understood is rather typical to Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). For example he dutifully went to piano and music theory classes at music school for nine years just because I made him to do so. And did sing at the choir, because that too was required. Didn't really ever have a passion, at times liked it okay, at times wasn't too thrilled, but played every day that 20 minutes he was required to practise without too much whining. Netiher has he ever have a habit of talking about his special interests in depth to others. When he for example talks about his sport, he usually talks rather generally and only talks in depth about what he does with coach, other players playing the same position and with me at times (I have seen too much of his positional training, I could probably coach some juniors by myself by now <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" />) And he knows how and to whom to talk for example about his game in very general way (in those interviews), with little bit more depth (with his dad or easy child for example) and with a lot of depth (with his coach, with other same position players or to me at times.) He does have that filter, always has had. </p><p></p><p>And of course while he has a load of sensory issues he is and never was clumsy or had any problems with motor coordination. Both his gross motor skills and fine motor skills have always been better than average.</p><p></p><p>So certainly a mixed bag.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 576562, member: 14557"] MWM: One thing that is different between your unlikeable child and mine. Mine probably couldn't sell water well in Sahara or central heating to Eskimos. He is often [B]that [/B]obnoxious to strangers outside of certain situations like interviews. could of course be lack of effort. And he does have some very good relationships. Many just not friends exactly. But for example he and easy child have a good relationship mostly. There are some sibling rivalry and jealousy issues, but they do rely on each other and their relationship is warm and loving (oh and how they would hate me putting it like that :winking:) difficult child also has good relationships to his cousins and some of the bit older players in his team. He even does have few (very few) same age friends, they just happen to be all over the world. It is also curious how while he does have these clear Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)-spectrum traits, some he doesn't have at all. Of course every aspie is different, but still most tend to have certain clusters of traits. And for example difficult child has never had language related asperger traits. His language development was always very typical, he has always talked local dialect and didn't even copy the more general language from books like many kids do, when they are read a lot. Still he has never had a problem to turn on the 'general speak' either in writing or talking. And he does this in both of his main languages. He has never had problems with taking things too literal and has always understood idioms, metaphors etc. in age appropriate level. While he has had deep interests, they have not been 'aspie-level', there has always been many of them going on same time and they have been broader than special interests often are. Okay, he was two when he decided he wants to do what he does now and that sport and that position was his favourite from then on. But he liked a lot about the other competitive sports too, he never got obsessed with any thin sector of his sport, and it was always more about doing the sport than for example knowing stats, probabilities etc. Those have really started to get his attention only when his coaches have started to demand his attention to them. And other wise he is mathematically inclined, so it isn't that he wouldn't like math. Some of his other interests were maybe more 'typical aspie' like knowing all and everything about dinosaurs when he was five or six and magic tricks later. But then again with the dinosaurs, so was every other boy at that time. They were a huge hit with boys back then. And he doesn't have that on/off attitude to interests I have understood is rather typical to Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). For example he dutifully went to piano and music theory classes at music school for nine years just because I made him to do so. And did sing at the choir, because that too was required. Didn't really ever have a passion, at times liked it okay, at times wasn't too thrilled, but played every day that 20 minutes he was required to practise without too much whining. Netiher has he ever have a habit of talking about his special interests in depth to others. When he for example talks about his sport, he usually talks rather generally and only talks in depth about what he does with coach, other players playing the same position and with me at times (I have seen too much of his positional training, I could probably coach some juniors by myself by now :winking:) And he knows how and to whom to talk for example about his game in very general way (in those interviews), with little bit more depth (with his dad or easy child for example) and with a lot of depth (with his coach, with other same position players or to me at times.) He does have that filter, always has had. And of course while he has a load of sensory issues he is and never was clumsy or had any problems with motor coordination. Both his gross motor skills and fine motor skills have always been better than average. So certainly a mixed bag. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child's social skills, how on earth is he so uneven
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