Hi Tessaturtle, although all my difficult children steal, it is my difficult child 2 I consider a true thief. She has stolen as long as she has been a part of our family. If she sees something she wants, she feels she has the right the take it. It isn't compulsive or impulsive, as she is very patient in timing the steal to lessen the chance of her getting caught. She will still from anyone or anywhere--family, friends, students, teachers, the congregation at church, etc.. Doesn't matter who, it matters what. Nothing changes her behavior. Never has and never will, because she feels NO guilt, NO remorse, NO shame. Never, ever has. When she gets caught, she doesn't learn stealing is wrong; she learns stealing it THAT WAY is wrong. She just hones her skills. And she is very, very good, so she rarely gets caught. She will charm you with one hand and steal with the other. If she is caught, she is very, very good at creating a very, very believable story or lie about who and why she has the stolen good. I've spent forever policing her and protecting her from others. It's exhausting.
I keep my purse in a safe and my PCs have lock-boxes to keep their valuables locked up tightly. We police everywhere she goes, as she is never alone. To us, to let her go anywhere by herself is like allowing a pedophile to go to the park--we're just asking for trouble.
I wish I could give you advice. When I hear someone has a child who steals, I always ask "Are they able to hold themselves accountable? Do they feel badly/guilty/shameful for stealing?" difficult child 2 deson't feel badly at all. After she steals from someone, she is able to chat with them as if, instead of stealing from them, she had made some charitable contribution in their behalf. It is bizarre, bafffling and exhausting. I'm interested in reading more of this thread.
