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General Parenting
difficult child's therapist appointment.
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 237386" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Wow, your therapist sounds phenomenal. Those sessions will really, really help. </p><p> </p><p>I have to admit, I am amazed that your difficult child did so well on the finals, after all that turmoil. He's got a brain in there, and it works! Of course, we all know that he if really cracked down, he could get straight A's, and that's not going to happen, so you will have to just keep breathing and be thankful that he's doing as well as he is. </p><p> </p><p>I will be amazed if your husband doesn't come out of this with-some kind of diagnosis. After an upbringing like his, he really needs his own, private therapy. Some of the things we go through as kids never heal unless we go through them and make them happen the way we need them to happen ... the nurturing, the structure. Of course, all of that lands on you. But you don't have to take it on. That's what therapists are for. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p> </p><p>I know the feeling of being enraged when difficult child snarls at me and I say, 'You will not talk to me like that." One thing I have learned to do is ignore him. Yesterday, he started arguing about wanting his PS2 controllers and how he was not going to show me his homework folder or do any chores.</p><p>In a calm voice, I said, "Okay." And walked away.</p><p>He came after me and demanded the controllers. I had a migraine, had taken medications, and was icing my neck.</p><p>It wasn't easy, but I said, "Okay. As soon as you do what I told you. Turn out the light, please."</p><p>We could have argued all night.</p><p>But he showed up 15 min. later and he had done what he was supposed to do. (Those games have incredible leverage. I used them again this a.m. and he finished all his chores in record time!)</p><p> </p><p>DO NOT ENGAGE HIM. It is going to be one of the hardest things you learn.</p><p> </p><p>You are doing really well. I love your post here. It's amazing. You probably can't see the progress, because you feel like you're still yelling and angry, but really, you've come so far, even in the past 2 wks.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 237386, member: 3419"] Wow, your therapist sounds phenomenal. Those sessions will really, really help. I have to admit, I am amazed that your difficult child did so well on the finals, after all that turmoil. He's got a brain in there, and it works! Of course, we all know that he if really cracked down, he could get straight A's, and that's not going to happen, so you will have to just keep breathing and be thankful that he's doing as well as he is. I will be amazed if your husband doesn't come out of this with-some kind of diagnosis. After an upbringing like his, he really needs his own, private therapy. Some of the things we go through as kids never heal unless we go through them and make them happen the way we need them to happen ... the nurturing, the structure. Of course, all of that lands on you. But you don't have to take it on. That's what therapists are for. :) I know the feeling of being enraged when difficult child snarls at me and I say, 'You will not talk to me like that." One thing I have learned to do is ignore him. Yesterday, he started arguing about wanting his PS2 controllers and how he was not going to show me his homework folder or do any chores. In a calm voice, I said, "Okay." And walked away. He came after me and demanded the controllers. I had a migraine, had taken medications, and was icing my neck. It wasn't easy, but I said, "Okay. As soon as you do what I told you. Turn out the light, please." We could have argued all night. But he showed up 15 min. later and he had done what he was supposed to do. (Those games have incredible leverage. I used them again this a.m. and he finished all his chores in record time!) DO NOT ENGAGE HIM. It is going to be one of the hardest things you learn. You are doing really well. I love your post here. It's amazing. You probably can't see the progress, because you feel like you're still yelling and angry, but really, you've come so far, even in the past 2 wks. [/QUOTE]
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