Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Dilemma re ex-husband
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 564437" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>I haven't been at this board long and we don't 'know' each other from past. I still wish to say something for you. </p><p></p><p>To me it sounds like you are dangerously close to walking back to abusive relationship and loosing yourself. I understand you are in the difficult situation and that you feel gratefulness to your ex being there for a hard time. But to me his involvement still sounds very controlling, like ownership and that can so easily turn to abuse. Especially if you remarry him and you are again 'his.' My husband has never been abusive to me, many would say he has been more than fair and understanding to me. I do however know something about being the one in marriage, who subtly submits, takes a back seat, let's a other one take a lead to achieve something you find desirable at the time. Even without any kind of abuse that can be a very thin line to walk. And loosing yourself can be so easy.</p><p></p><p>And if I'm being frank, what you tell us, makes every warning bell ring about what could happen after you would re-marry. Even if active abuse stopped before.</p><p></p><p>But of course you know your situation the best. But I think you owe it to yourself that you make your decisions when you are okay. Not when you are middle of very stressful and emotional time both with your health and your career. Make that clear to your ex and if he can't deal with that, it gives you some answers about if you want to reconnect your future with him. And if I can say one more thing: Don't base your decisions to fears. Base them to your desires and hopes. </p><p></p><p>I wish you strength.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 564437, member: 14557"] I haven't been at this board long and we don't 'know' each other from past. I still wish to say something for you. To me it sounds like you are dangerously close to walking back to abusive relationship and loosing yourself. I understand you are in the difficult situation and that you feel gratefulness to your ex being there for a hard time. But to me his involvement still sounds very controlling, like ownership and that can so easily turn to abuse. Especially if you remarry him and you are again 'his.' My husband has never been abusive to me, many would say he has been more than fair and understanding to me. I do however know something about being the one in marriage, who subtly submits, takes a back seat, let's a other one take a lead to achieve something you find desirable at the time. Even without any kind of abuse that can be a very thin line to walk. And loosing yourself can be so easy. And if I'm being frank, what you tell us, makes every warning bell ring about what could happen after you would re-marry. Even if active abuse stopped before. But of course you know your situation the best. But I think you owe it to yourself that you make your decisions when you are okay. Not when you are middle of very stressful and emotional time both with your health and your career. Make that clear to your ex and if he can't deal with that, it gives you some answers about if you want to reconnect your future with him. And if I can say one more thing: Don't base your decisions to fears. Base them to your desires and hopes. I wish you strength. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Dilemma re ex-husband
Top