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Dilemma re ex-husband
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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 565068" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>You know, that's what I was trying to say ... that my jerk of an ex-friend gave me some things I needed at the time. I've been having a hard time reconciling the hurt I feel with the fact that I'm grateful for what he did give me, but maybe I can take something positive away. He was a liar but he did cheer me on when I was finishing and submitting my book manuscript (it didn't sell, but he did encourage me), and mostly he challenged me to look at myself and say, what are my own likes and dislikes? Where do I want to be in two years, in five, in ten? What do I want my life to look like? Figure that out and then go after it. He never promised to be there in two, five, or ten years, but he assumed I would be thinking forward for myself. I hadn't looked at what MY life should look like, I'd just been surviving day to day. So his interest and the challenge that he posed were a huge wake-up. It was also a wake-up for someone intelligent to expect intelligence of me. It hadn't been part of my experience. I can take all that away as a positive and maybe it'll help the hurt. I would like to be able to meet him someday (if I'm in smalltown anytime, or if I go back to work there, he's a specialist in the local medical community and our paths would cross from time to time) with dignity, as a whole, healthy person. I'd like to think there were positive things about the time I spent. He did give me something I needed at the time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 565068, member: 2884"] You know, that's what I was trying to say ... that my jerk of an ex-friend gave me some things I needed at the time. I've been having a hard time reconciling the hurt I feel with the fact that I'm grateful for what he did give me, but maybe I can take something positive away. He was a liar but he did cheer me on when I was finishing and submitting my book manuscript (it didn't sell, but he did encourage me), and mostly he challenged me to look at myself and say, what are my own likes and dislikes? Where do I want to be in two years, in five, in ten? What do I want my life to look like? Figure that out and then go after it. He never promised to be there in two, five, or ten years, but he assumed I would be thinking forward for myself. I hadn't looked at what MY life should look like, I'd just been surviving day to day. So his interest and the challenge that he posed were a huge wake-up. It was also a wake-up for someone intelligent to expect intelligence of me. It hadn't been part of my experience. I can take all that away as a positive and maybe it'll help the hurt. I would like to be able to meet him someday (if I'm in smalltown anytime, or if I go back to work there, he's a specialist in the local medical community and our paths would cross from time to time) with dignity, as a whole, healthy person. I'd like to think there were positive things about the time I spent. He did give me something I needed at the time. [/QUOTE]
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