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General Parenting
disagreement on a disapline issue.
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<blockquote data-quote="Allan-Matlem" data-source="post: 504831" data-attributes="member: 10"><p>Hi,</p><p></p><p>from what I read the agreement with the school says if the kids do not meet with their standards - good grades etc they cannot return NEXT year. I agree with the others not to move kids in the midle of the year unless the school is not a good fit and not meeting their needs. One does not have to be holier than the pope. If the school decides they cannot come back , you can still be suportive and help them find ways to deal with their problems. Consequences usually damge relationships, undermine trust and the ability to work with each other. Much easier if the consequence is not from the parent but a court of law, police, school etc. The thing about ' consequences ' is that parents, teachers think they are teaching kids a lesson , but kids usually take home a completely</p><p>different lesson and message - generalizing - parents etc are unfair , my mistake - being caught etc. The threat of being kicked out of school or even being kicked out of school is not going to solve problems. Kids on the whole would prefer to be successful , if they could be successful , they would. We have to find out what is getting in their way, why are they doing poorly in school. We get the motivation issue wrong. When kids feel competent, have good relationships with teachers and other kids and feel self directed , they become intrinsically motivated and commited to the values.</p><p>Kids should be at schools which are a good fit , meet their needs.</p><p>The consequence clouds the real issue . Instead of focusing on the problem = kids' academic struggles , their is a new issue - a new placement</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Allan-Matlem, post: 504831, member: 10"] Hi, from what I read the agreement with the school says if the kids do not meet with their standards - good grades etc they cannot return NEXT year. I agree with the others not to move kids in the midle of the year unless the school is not a good fit and not meeting their needs. One does not have to be holier than the pope. If the school decides they cannot come back , you can still be suportive and help them find ways to deal with their problems. Consequences usually damge relationships, undermine trust and the ability to work with each other. Much easier if the consequence is not from the parent but a court of law, police, school etc. The thing about ' consequences ' is that parents, teachers think they are teaching kids a lesson , but kids usually take home a completely different lesson and message - generalizing - parents etc are unfair , my mistake - being caught etc. The threat of being kicked out of school or even being kicked out of school is not going to solve problems. Kids on the whole would prefer to be successful , if they could be successful , they would. We have to find out what is getting in their way, why are they doing poorly in school. We get the motivation issue wrong. When kids feel competent, have good relationships with teachers and other kids and feel self directed , they become intrinsically motivated and commited to the values. Kids should be at schools which are a good fit , meet their needs. The consequence clouds the real issue . Instead of focusing on the problem = kids' academic struggles , their is a new issue - a new placement [/QUOTE]
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