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General Parenting
Disciplining after suicide attempt by daughter.
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<blockquote data-quote="gijane" data-source="post: 704020" data-attributes="member: 21121"><p>Oh no. I am so sorry to hear this. The pit of despair you and your wife must be in is heartbreaking. I am in a similar bind with one of mine. His is a different league than depression, although he has that too. But I know what you mean about having "near-typical" children who are much easier. And you think why do I have one who isn't? What did we do? You said it about the Atom bomb. That resentment is completely natural, and won't help the situation by feeling guilty. One of the things I found most helpful here is the idea that our feelings are there for a reason. They are not shameful. They are human reactions to situations. And this one is so, so difficult. I understand your frustration of having to alter your ideas of discipline to fit the child. What I learned from parenthood is that there is no one size fits all. Different children require different methods.</p><p>I agree about family counseling. It will help you learn tools that will make relating to each other easier and less like walking on eggshells.</p><p>You two are doing all the right things. You so clearly love your daughter and want to help her. I know she knows this. Your actions prove it. Thankfully she did not succeed in ending her life. Make sure she knows that you know it's not her fault that she has these demons in her head. But they can be overcome. </p><p>This is something huge, although it may sound hocus pocus. I can't emphasize enough he importance of diet and amino acids for brain function. Vegetables. There more the better. Cut out sugar. Cut out dairy. These will help skin issues. Fresh air, regular exercise. Not as replacement for treatment, but a boost. </p><p>Being 16 is so hard for kids who suffer from mental illness. She sounds like a sensitive soul who may do much better in a different environment. </p><p>My son also felt like he was in the shadow of his siblings. That is such a horrible thing to observe as a parent. Talk as much as you can. </p><p>She will be delicate for a while. But you can overcome this as a family. Sometimes things have to hit bottom before they can go up again. </p><p>All my best to you and your family.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gijane, post: 704020, member: 21121"] Oh no. I am so sorry to hear this. The pit of despair you and your wife must be in is heartbreaking. I am in a similar bind with one of mine. His is a different league than depression, although he has that too. But I know what you mean about having "near-typical" children who are much easier. And you think why do I have one who isn't? What did we do? You said it about the Atom bomb. That resentment is completely natural, and won't help the situation by feeling guilty. One of the things I found most helpful here is the idea that our feelings are there for a reason. They are not shameful. They are human reactions to situations. And this one is so, so difficult. I understand your frustration of having to alter your ideas of discipline to fit the child. What I learned from parenthood is that there is no one size fits all. Different children require different methods. I agree about family counseling. It will help you learn tools that will make relating to each other easier and less like walking on eggshells. You two are doing all the right things. You so clearly love your daughter and want to help her. I know she knows this. Your actions prove it. Thankfully she did not succeed in ending her life. Make sure she knows that you know it's not her fault that she has these demons in her head. But they can be overcome. This is something huge, although it may sound hocus pocus. I can't emphasize enough he importance of diet and amino acids for brain function. Vegetables. There more the better. Cut out sugar. Cut out dairy. These will help skin issues. Fresh air, regular exercise. Not as replacement for treatment, but a boost. Being 16 is so hard for kids who suffer from mental illness. She sounds like a sensitive soul who may do much better in a different environment. My son also felt like he was in the shadow of his siblings. That is such a horrible thing to observe as a parent. Talk as much as you can. She will be delicate for a while. But you can overcome this as a family. Sometimes things have to hit bottom before they can go up again. All my best to you and your family. [/QUOTE]
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