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Discussion about funeral arrangement with family
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<blockquote data-quote="LittleDudesMom" data-source="post: 123031" data-attributes="member: 805"><p>Nancy,</p><p> </p><p>my father passed away 3.5 years ago about 36 hours after hip replacement surgery. Noone expected it. But, he prepared for it. He told my mother than if something should happen and he were to die, she should go to the red cabinet and would find an envelope. My father wrote his own obit and also requested that family only attend his funeral. (not only that, but we found documents on their computer entitled "For E....", my mom's name that contained instructions on how to go about notifying SSA of his passing and how to contact Arlington Cemetary for his internment, etc.)</p><p> </p><p>His obit listed only mom and the four of us children. No grandchildren by name, none of his three surviving siblings. My father was a fun-loving man full of life, humor and love. We honored his wishes, but so many people wanted to attend the funeral mass but the obit listed a private service for family only. Personally, I would have loved to have shared the day and hear wonderful stories of my dad from his business associates we met and socialized with over the years and good family friends we grew up with, partied with, and cried with over the years. We were surrounded by family on both sides, moms and dads. But, they were my father's wishes and they had to be honored, my mother insisted.</p><p> </p><p>Dad also wanted to be cremated with no funeral home stuff. He was interned in Arlington cemetary a year after his death. Mom wanted his ashes with her for awhile.</p><p> </p><p>I kinda feel differently. A few years ago, right after bonehead and I seperated, I flew to Texas for a long weekend to visit with friends. I had a will, but it did not include funeral arrangements. I wrote them at that time. I want to be cremated with no funeral home services, but I do want a celebration at our church. I want my family, especially for my children, and friends to be there to support my children. I want my children to feel the love that is left around them after I go. I also chose my music and requested a friend of my daughter, who attends our church, to sing one of the songs and dedicate to easy child and difficult child.</p><p> </p><p>I also put down that I would prefer to be "double burned", no ashes, but if the children would prefer, they could keep the ashes. easy child has said that she would like to have some of my ashes put into a little gold cross necklace and that she would love to scatter my ashes at the beach in the Atlantic since she, difficult child, and I have so many wonderful memories of our times at the beach.</p><p> </p><p>I believe it is important to plan ahead. I think it is important to get some input from your loved ones. Especially since funerals and such are for the living not the dead. But ultimately, it is the wishes of the deceased that should rule.</p><p> </p><p>Sharon</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LittleDudesMom, post: 123031, member: 805"] Nancy, my father passed away 3.5 years ago about 36 hours after hip replacement surgery. Noone expected it. But, he prepared for it. He told my mother than if something should happen and he were to die, she should go to the red cabinet and would find an envelope. My father wrote his own obit and also requested that family only attend his funeral. (not only that, but we found documents on their computer entitled "For E....", my mom's name that contained instructions on how to go about notifying SSA of his passing and how to contact Arlington Cemetary for his internment, etc.) His obit listed only mom and the four of us children. No grandchildren by name, none of his three surviving siblings. My father was a fun-loving man full of life, humor and love. We honored his wishes, but so many people wanted to attend the funeral mass but the obit listed a private service for family only. Personally, I would have loved to have shared the day and hear wonderful stories of my dad from his business associates we met and socialized with over the years and good family friends we grew up with, partied with, and cried with over the years. We were surrounded by family on both sides, moms and dads. But, they were my father's wishes and they had to be honored, my mother insisted. Dad also wanted to be cremated with no funeral home stuff. He was interned in Arlington cemetary a year after his death. Mom wanted his ashes with her for awhile. I kinda feel differently. A few years ago, right after bonehead and I seperated, I flew to Texas for a long weekend to visit with friends. I had a will, but it did not include funeral arrangements. I wrote them at that time. I want to be cremated with no funeral home services, but I do want a celebration at our church. I want my family, especially for my children, and friends to be there to support my children. I want my children to feel the love that is left around them after I go. I also chose my music and requested a friend of my daughter, who attends our church, to sing one of the songs and dedicate to easy child and difficult child. I also put down that I would prefer to be "double burned", no ashes, but if the children would prefer, they could keep the ashes. easy child has said that she would like to have some of my ashes put into a little gold cross necklace and that she would love to scatter my ashes at the beach in the Atlantic since she, difficult child, and I have so many wonderful memories of our times at the beach. I believe it is important to plan ahead. I think it is important to get some input from your loved ones. Especially since funerals and such are for the living not the dead. But ultimately, it is the wishes of the deceased that should rule. Sharon [/QUOTE]
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