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disgusted with my difficult child 2...
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<blockquote data-quote="confuzzled" data-source="post: 363459" data-attributes="member: 8831"><p>yes, she has anxiety. yes, she's most likely on the spectrum. </p><p> </p><p>and we have modified and accomodated to the Nth degree. </p><p> </p><p>but like i said...she functioned reasonably fine for 10 years, or prior to all this "help".</p><p> </p><p>now its starting to feel like more of learned behaviors. if she carries on, then she will get out of doing whatever. if she carries on, everyone will bend over backwards to appease her. if she carries on, there are really no consequences. (this meltdown koi is only a small part of it, we have typical teen mouthiness and attitude on top of all of it)</p><p> </p><p>she does have pyschomotor delays and executive functioning issues. and there have been plenty of times where an assignment *IS* overwhelming and difficult for her, and trust me, we break it down, we work with her, sometimes we even scrap the assignment all together, etc. this was not one of those times--when i say it was a 10 min. assignment, i mean it took HER 10 min. to do, once she calmed down and did the work. during her 2 hour meltdown we tried breathing, we tried relaxation techniques, etc....what i refused to do was let her off the hook. there was no real reason, not even a self perceived one, for her to act like she did. </p><p> </p><p>life is not going to put up with her nonsense. bosses arent going to put up with it. husbands and children arent either. all of us have things in life we dont want to do, or are difficult for us, but we do them. at some point she cant use all her diagnosis's as an excuse...nor does she get a free pass on self entitlement. she cant live her life focused on what someone says she *CANT* do....she's been given every opportunity for help, and she's VERY capable of a great many things. </p><p> </p><p>and believe me, i have the patience of a saint. husband was flabbergasted that i finally lost it...its so out of character for me that he just couldnt believe it. and his answer was that it was a long time in the coming....</p><p>and i just cant take another year like this one.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="confuzzled, post: 363459, member: 8831"] yes, she has anxiety. yes, she's most likely on the spectrum. and we have modified and accomodated to the Nth degree. but like i said...she functioned reasonably fine for 10 years, or prior to all this "help". now its starting to feel like more of learned behaviors. if she carries on, then she will get out of doing whatever. if she carries on, everyone will bend over backwards to appease her. if she carries on, there are really no consequences. (this meltdown koi is only a small part of it, we have typical teen mouthiness and attitude on top of all of it) she does have pyschomotor delays and executive functioning issues. and there have been plenty of times where an assignment *IS* overwhelming and difficult for her, and trust me, we break it down, we work with her, sometimes we even scrap the assignment all together, etc. this was not one of those times--when i say it was a 10 min. assignment, i mean it took HER 10 min. to do, once she calmed down and did the work. during her 2 hour meltdown we tried breathing, we tried relaxation techniques, etc....what i refused to do was let her off the hook. there was no real reason, not even a self perceived one, for her to act like she did. life is not going to put up with her nonsense. bosses arent going to put up with it. husbands and children arent either. all of us have things in life we dont want to do, or are difficult for us, but we do them. at some point she cant use all her diagnosis's as an excuse...nor does she get a free pass on self entitlement. she cant live her life focused on what someone says she *CANT* do....she's been given every opportunity for help, and she's VERY capable of a great many things. and believe me, i have the patience of a saint. husband was flabbergasted that i finally lost it...its so out of character for me that he just couldnt believe it. and his answer was that it was a long time in the coming.... and i just cant take another year like this one. [/QUOTE]
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