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General Parenting
Disheartening conference
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<blockquote data-quote="smallworld" data-source="post: 311022" data-attributes="member: 2423"><p>Terry, I don't have an Aspie, but I do have a son who wouldn't do his schoolwork for YEARS. He is academically gifted, but has a lot of anxiety and depression and couldn't seem to dig himself out of his own hole. No amount of external pressure from us, his teachers or his therapist made a lick of difference. Punishments in fact made him dig in even deeper. We finally needed to send him to a residential program to figure out why he was self-sabotaging and to learn positive coping strategies. He is now in a therapeutic program based on positive relationship building and earning a 3.7 grade point average in 10th grade.</p><p> </p><p>I'm not suggesting that you need to send your own son away to a residential program, but I am suggesting that you may need to rethink your punitive strategies. They may not work. My own experience is that meeting these kids where they are rather than forcing them to conform to a restrictive system that they may not necessarily be able to conform to may be a recipe for disaster. A Catholic school may just not be the right place for an Aspie. And neither may a military academy. Really think through what your son's needs are. And then find a school that can meet those needs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="smallworld, post: 311022, member: 2423"] Terry, I don't have an Aspie, but I do have a son who wouldn't do his schoolwork for YEARS. He is academically gifted, but has a lot of anxiety and depression and couldn't seem to dig himself out of his own hole. No amount of external pressure from us, his teachers or his therapist made a lick of difference. Punishments in fact made him dig in even deeper. We finally needed to send him to a residential program to figure out why he was self-sabotaging and to learn positive coping strategies. He is now in a therapeutic program based on positive relationship building and earning a 3.7 grade point average in 10th grade. I'm not suggesting that you need to send your own son away to a residential program, but I am suggesting that you may need to rethink your punitive strategies. They may not work. My own experience is that meeting these kids where they are rather than forcing them to conform to a restrictive system that they may not necessarily be able to conform to may be a recipe for disaster. A Catholic school may just not be the right place for an Aspie. And neither may a military academy. Really think through what your son's needs are. And then find a school that can meet those needs. [/QUOTE]
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