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Disheartening conference
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 311185" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>All the not letting up in the world did not help Wiz. Not one bit. I honestly think if you remove all the games,etc... for good then he may well become physically aggressive with you.</p><p></p><p>Is it at ALL possible to wait until you return to implement changes? Your husband always seems half-hearted when it comes to being stricter, though that may just be a misperception on my part. in my opinion it would be better to wait a week or two and really refine what you are going to do rather than to jump in, leave town, expect husband to follow through (or your daughter if she is going to come to help out), and then have to listen to everyone gritch and moan about the changes.</p><p></p><p>They will still gritch and moan, but if you don't have to shore up husband via long distance phone calls then it will ALL be a lot easier.</p><p></p><p>The one thing that has really helped Wiz was to have a schedule for after school. He gets home, gets a snack, can watch 30 mins of tv to unwind and then must do homework. If he does not bring homework home then he must do work my mom or dad assigns. Having both been teachers, they can really pick assignments that complement his curriculum - he HATES that, LOL!</p><p></p><p>If he argues or bargains about homework then he gets an extra assignment or a chore. My mom is GENIUS at leading a child back to a half done chore and telling them to finish. Over. and over. and over. and over. and over. and over. and over. and over. and over. and over. She never raises her voice or shows any anger other than sometimes that clenched jaw.</p><p></p><p>THEN she will tell Gpa that she is EXHAUSTED and he needs to take her out to dinner. The offender not only is left home, they don't get any leftovers from the meal out and they get whatever is least appealing that she can think of. </p><p></p><p>She also is then "too tired" to drive a child anywhere, to do laundry, or to do anything else. And would the offender "just bring me" many things over and over - just as the offender gets settled into a book or tv show.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I am not explaining it well but she is a GENIUS. She used this on her Aspie nephew, her aspie son, her borderline aspie me, and my majorly aspie father. It takes a TON of energy just to not explode. But it does get through.</p><p></p><p>You might thumb through TEC and What your explosive child is trying to tell you, and any love and logic books you have on hand. I know your trip will be exhausting, but it might be helpful to take the books with you and to try to brush up on this stuff before you come back. Some of them are on audiobook, maybe you can download some of those?</p><p></p><p>Sorry if I rambled too much. Hopefully this will help. I also think the Catholic school may not be the right place. It is so hard to find that right place though. But no military program is going to do well with an Aspie, in my opinion. But I DO have significant bias against Catholic schools, so take my reservations about Catholic schools into account when you weigh that part of my opinion.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 311185, member: 1233"] All the not letting up in the world did not help Wiz. Not one bit. I honestly think if you remove all the games,etc... for good then he may well become physically aggressive with you. Is it at ALL possible to wait until you return to implement changes? Your husband always seems half-hearted when it comes to being stricter, though that may just be a misperception on my part. in my opinion it would be better to wait a week or two and really refine what you are going to do rather than to jump in, leave town, expect husband to follow through (or your daughter if she is going to come to help out), and then have to listen to everyone gritch and moan about the changes. They will still gritch and moan, but if you don't have to shore up husband via long distance phone calls then it will ALL be a lot easier. The one thing that has really helped Wiz was to have a schedule for after school. He gets home, gets a snack, can watch 30 mins of tv to unwind and then must do homework. If he does not bring homework home then he must do work my mom or dad assigns. Having both been teachers, they can really pick assignments that complement his curriculum - he HATES that, LOL! If he argues or bargains about homework then he gets an extra assignment or a chore. My mom is GENIUS at leading a child back to a half done chore and telling them to finish. Over. and over. and over. and over. and over. and over. and over. and over. and over. and over. She never raises her voice or shows any anger other than sometimes that clenched jaw. THEN she will tell Gpa that she is EXHAUSTED and he needs to take her out to dinner. The offender not only is left home, they don't get any leftovers from the meal out and they get whatever is least appealing that she can think of. She also is then "too tired" to drive a child anywhere, to do laundry, or to do anything else. And would the offender "just bring me" many things over and over - just as the offender gets settled into a book or tv show. I am not explaining it well but she is a GENIUS. She used this on her Aspie nephew, her aspie son, her borderline aspie me, and my majorly aspie father. It takes a TON of energy just to not explode. But it does get through. You might thumb through TEC and What your explosive child is trying to tell you, and any love and logic books you have on hand. I know your trip will be exhausting, but it might be helpful to take the books with you and to try to brush up on this stuff before you come back. Some of them are on audiobook, maybe you can download some of those? Sorry if I rambled too much. Hopefully this will help. I also think the Catholic school may not be the right place. It is so hard to find that right place though. But no military program is going to do well with an Aspie, in my opinion. But I DO have significant bias against Catholic schools, so take my reservations about Catholic schools into account when you weigh that part of my opinion. [/QUOTE]
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