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Disrespect..
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<blockquote data-quote="josie76" data-source="post: 535412" data-attributes="member: 14775"><p>Hey again, thanks for the replies!</p><p></p><p>Son got diagnosed at age 12 after a lengthy process where noone seemed to take me seriously about how i knew there was something not right with my sons behaviour. He has a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Tic Disorder which all got particularly out of control when he started high school and the pressure became unbearable for him along with him being bullied and the school not monitoring his asthma correctly as he couldnt do this himself. I had to take him out of school after a severe asthma attack (he literally couldnt breathe when he reached home) as a teacher had held him back to shout at him for not paying attention in class then he had to run for his bus. This teacher had already been told that due to his asthma he had to get out early to make the bus. He is now attending a Communication Support Unit within a mainstream school but gets a taxi and escort there and back and support in all of his classes and this unit is a fantastic support for him and is great to send him out to be looked after by people that i really trust!</p><p></p><p>I stay in Scotland and he attends a Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service where he sees a psychiatrist regularly but CBT with the psychologist did not work out as he did not engage well so we have little other input at the moment, hence my feeling a little overwhelmed at the minute.</p><p></p><p>TeDo - i really like the idea of a very concrete plan but i am not sure how to apply this in practice - i find myself starting things but then becoming too stressed to continue them or the plan is too complicated or i continually second guess myself as to whether what i am doing is the right thing to do! I am constantly aware of his conditions - and i always worry about punishing him for something that is stemming from his Autism or Tourettes but at the same time he does have to find ways of managing this disrespectful behaviour - he does it also in school a lot and has actually been attacked twice over the last year by 2 different pupils he has has wound up - so it is a problem, especially as he is in a unit with other kids who have their own problems to be dealing with and can do without someone provoking them!</p><p></p><p>Midwestmom - i think that my son is showing a really elevated level of disrespectful behaviour that may not be tolerated in other families generally - i feel like i am pretty soft with him sometimes and like i said before, i am always second guessing his behaviour and why he is behaving that way. He does listen to me when i talk to him about it when he is calm but these conversations have absolutely no bearing on his behaviour when he is in one of his annoying moods - its like he is zoned out almost, completely hyperactive and full of carry on or anger and all i seem able to do is put him in a time out or take some space away from him. He doesnt really have any friends and doesnt seek them, being on his easy child is enough for him and all he ever wants to do. He is smart and can be manipulative - like when we are out and he wants to go home, he will shout out that i hit him at home etc ( i never hit him, dont believe in it but get so angry sometimes that horribly i feel like it and then the guilt comes etc etc). Despite being smart, he can also be very niaive, and thinks that i shouldnt take him out, he doesnt have to go out and staying on his game endlessly will do him no harm. His asthma restricts his activity level as it is quite severe so it is not even an option to get him to the gym or a run to get all of his negative energy out if that is what is wrong. Not sure if my signature is showing - he is on Sertraline 50mg once a day - he has been taking this for a year and although it was intially prescribed for his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), it has done wonders for his communication - he was practically mute at school before taking this, it has been nothing short of miraculous for his anxiety level in terms of social communication. However, the tics and the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) remain and his reluctance to leave the house is as bad as ever, as is this rude behaivour.</p><p></p><p>Have sat here all day thinking of a strategy to deal with all of his problematic behaviours as it is really making me feel so depressed and stressed out but i cannot come up with anything practical at all. If anyone has anything that works with them and is quite simple to apply consistently i would love to hear your approach as i think my mind has completely shut down! It is hard to do things differently to what you do naturally - but clearly my approach is not working!</p><p></p><p>Thanks again!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="josie76, post: 535412, member: 14775"] Hey again, thanks for the replies! Son got diagnosed at age 12 after a lengthy process where noone seemed to take me seriously about how i knew there was something not right with my sons behaviour. He has a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Tic Disorder which all got particularly out of control when he started high school and the pressure became unbearable for him along with him being bullied and the school not monitoring his asthma correctly as he couldnt do this himself. I had to take him out of school after a severe asthma attack (he literally couldnt breathe when he reached home) as a teacher had held him back to shout at him for not paying attention in class then he had to run for his bus. This teacher had already been told that due to his asthma he had to get out early to make the bus. He is now attending a Communication Support Unit within a mainstream school but gets a taxi and escort there and back and support in all of his classes and this unit is a fantastic support for him and is great to send him out to be looked after by people that i really trust! I stay in Scotland and he attends a Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service where he sees a psychiatrist regularly but CBT with the psychologist did not work out as he did not engage well so we have little other input at the moment, hence my feeling a little overwhelmed at the minute. TeDo - i really like the idea of a very concrete plan but i am not sure how to apply this in practice - i find myself starting things but then becoming too stressed to continue them or the plan is too complicated or i continually second guess myself as to whether what i am doing is the right thing to do! I am constantly aware of his conditions - and i always worry about punishing him for something that is stemming from his Autism or Tourettes but at the same time he does have to find ways of managing this disrespectful behaviour - he does it also in school a lot and has actually been attacked twice over the last year by 2 different pupils he has has wound up - so it is a problem, especially as he is in a unit with other kids who have their own problems to be dealing with and can do without someone provoking them! Midwestmom - i think that my son is showing a really elevated level of disrespectful behaviour that may not be tolerated in other families generally - i feel like i am pretty soft with him sometimes and like i said before, i am always second guessing his behaviour and why he is behaving that way. He does listen to me when i talk to him about it when he is calm but these conversations have absolutely no bearing on his behaviour when he is in one of his annoying moods - its like he is zoned out almost, completely hyperactive and full of carry on or anger and all i seem able to do is put him in a time out or take some space away from him. He doesnt really have any friends and doesnt seek them, being on his easy child is enough for him and all he ever wants to do. He is smart and can be manipulative - like when we are out and he wants to go home, he will shout out that i hit him at home etc ( i never hit him, dont believe in it but get so angry sometimes that horribly i feel like it and then the guilt comes etc etc). Despite being smart, he can also be very niaive, and thinks that i shouldnt take him out, he doesnt have to go out and staying on his game endlessly will do him no harm. His asthma restricts his activity level as it is quite severe so it is not even an option to get him to the gym or a run to get all of his negative energy out if that is what is wrong. Not sure if my signature is showing - he is on Sertraline 50mg once a day - he has been taking this for a year and although it was intially prescribed for his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), it has done wonders for his communication - he was practically mute at school before taking this, it has been nothing short of miraculous for his anxiety level in terms of social communication. However, the tics and the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) remain and his reluctance to leave the house is as bad as ever, as is this rude behaivour. Have sat here all day thinking of a strategy to deal with all of his problematic behaviours as it is really making me feel so depressed and stressed out but i cannot come up with anything practical at all. If anyone has anything that works with them and is quite simple to apply consistently i would love to hear your approach as i think my mind has completely shut down! It is hard to do things differently to what you do naturally - but clearly my approach is not working! Thanks again! [/QUOTE]
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