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Dive Off the Deep End with Eyes Shut sheesh!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 364973" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>How stupid and irresponsible!!!! They have NO business having custody of those kids!!! NONE!!!! The poor kids, esp the older ones who you know are trying desperately to take care of themselves, the younger one AND the parents!!! I am fuming with you!!!</p><p></p><p>You are exactly right that she is making her way to your door. She and her mom and that guy all figure that you will see the older two and won't be able to say NO to having them move in and steal you blind. IF you let them into your home PLEASE make sure that EVERY scrap of paper relating to anything financial is in a safe deposit box. They will scheme and steal until you are homeless too. It is their nature.</p><p></p><p>I just have a hunch that if they are not into identity theft now then they will be soon. Esp with well meaning people like the one helping them now letting them into her home. They will scheme until they find info and then try to get credit cards in the lady's name. It seems to be happening more and more to people and just seems like Kand that guy would find it far easier than getting jobs. </p><p></p><p>I am sorry the kids lost everything they ever had. Esp after you all scrimped and saved so much to make sure they had a good Christmas and even birthday presents that you now cannot send. I HATE to think of the situations those kids were and are being put in and exposed to. If they have not been abused already it is only by the grace of God. </p><p></p><p>You NEED to make a plan about what will happen when they show up. They WILL. Make a plan, put it in writing, make husband agree to it (in writing) and stick to it when they come. Decide NOW what you will do if you come home and husband has given them free run of your home. What will you be willing to do for the kids? Would you let the kids live with you if they signed custody over to you? </p><p></p><p>I am worried that they will show up, finagle a way in (using the kids), steal from you (possibly even putting your home up as collateral by stealing your identity - it is NOT as hard as it looks), and then leave you broken hearted and destitute. You may have to decide to voice your criticism of their decisions and parenting now so that they will cut ties with you. IF that might work. It will hurt to do. You know the kids are not well cared for and I know it hurts. Would it hurt less to alienate them now and have them cut ties or to have them show up, steal you into the poorhouse, and then leave because you have nothing else to give?</p><p></p><p>You have struggled through all but the last quarter of your program. It would be the WORST time for them to come, esp if it isn't as easy as it is reputed to be. You have so many plans for what you will do after you graduate. PLEASE do not let any of THEIR choices rob you of this dream. </p><p></p><p>while I worry about the kids, I don't know them really. I DO know you. I know how HARD you have worked for everything you have and how devastated you would be if they did what I suspect they plan to do. </p><p></p><p>Many hugs. Lots of support no matter what you decide. (Just don't let husband waffle and put you at risk you are not willing to take!)</p><p></p><p>Remember that just because they share some DNA with your husband does NOT mean you OWE them anything. YOU DO NOT!!! If anything they owe you, esp after the way they took off and broke your heart last time!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 364973, member: 1233"] How stupid and irresponsible!!!! They have NO business having custody of those kids!!! NONE!!!! The poor kids, esp the older ones who you know are trying desperately to take care of themselves, the younger one AND the parents!!! I am fuming with you!!! You are exactly right that she is making her way to your door. She and her mom and that guy all figure that you will see the older two and won't be able to say NO to having them move in and steal you blind. IF you let them into your home PLEASE make sure that EVERY scrap of paper relating to anything financial is in a safe deposit box. They will scheme and steal until you are homeless too. It is their nature. I just have a hunch that if they are not into identity theft now then they will be soon. Esp with well meaning people like the one helping them now letting them into her home. They will scheme until they find info and then try to get credit cards in the lady's name. It seems to be happening more and more to people and just seems like Kand that guy would find it far easier than getting jobs. I am sorry the kids lost everything they ever had. Esp after you all scrimped and saved so much to make sure they had a good Christmas and even birthday presents that you now cannot send. I HATE to think of the situations those kids were and are being put in and exposed to. If they have not been abused already it is only by the grace of God. You NEED to make a plan about what will happen when they show up. They WILL. Make a plan, put it in writing, make husband agree to it (in writing) and stick to it when they come. Decide NOW what you will do if you come home and husband has given them free run of your home. What will you be willing to do for the kids? Would you let the kids live with you if they signed custody over to you? I am worried that they will show up, finagle a way in (using the kids), steal from you (possibly even putting your home up as collateral by stealing your identity - it is NOT as hard as it looks), and then leave you broken hearted and destitute. You may have to decide to voice your criticism of their decisions and parenting now so that they will cut ties with you. IF that might work. It will hurt to do. You know the kids are not well cared for and I know it hurts. Would it hurt less to alienate them now and have them cut ties or to have them show up, steal you into the poorhouse, and then leave because you have nothing else to give? You have struggled through all but the last quarter of your program. It would be the WORST time for them to come, esp if it isn't as easy as it is reputed to be. You have so many plans for what you will do after you graduate. PLEASE do not let any of THEIR choices rob you of this dream. while I worry about the kids, I don't know them really. I DO know you. I know how HARD you have worked for everything you have and how devastated you would be if they did what I suspect they plan to do. Many hugs. Lots of support no matter what you decide. (Just don't let husband waffle and put you at risk you are not willing to take!) Remember that just because they share some DNA with your husband does NOT mean you OWE them anything. YOU DO NOT!!! If anything they owe you, esp after the way they took off and broke your heart last time! [/QUOTE]
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Dive Off the Deep End with Eyes Shut sheesh!!!
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