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The Watercooler
Divorce in 2013. Does an intact family help the children?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 592405" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>This is an interesting and thankfully friendly discussion.</p><p></p><p>I just read an article that said that if you do get divorced kids do MUCH BETTER if you get along with your ex. Sadly, this often doesn't happen. Those are the kids who, apparently, do the worse. But, let's face it, it is unusual to divorce because you LIKE each other!!! </p><p></p><p>I think some of the laws hurt the kids, like forcing them to see parents who they feel are abusive (the kids). "The best interests of the child" is often a big joke.</p><p></p><p>A loooooooooooong time ago I read another article (when I was contemplating my divorce, which I did get). That article said that kids do better if you stay together, even if you fight, as long as there isn't violence involved. I took that seriously and waited a long time to get divorced, but I did anyway. My friend was in the same situation and she stayed with her husband, although she was having an emotional affair for ten years with a psychologist her son used to see (very ethical man...ahem). Her husband knew nothing about it. He never has. They stayed together and things got much better and they have three PCs who adore them both and now they have two grands as well. I think about her at times. Things can actually be very bad then change to good again.</p><p></p><p>She is happy she stuck it out and he never knew she had almost left him. So apparently their fights did not affect their three awesome kids. But my divorce from ex, even being friendly, did hurt my kids, especially Julie, poor thing.</p><p></p><p>I'm not sorry I divorced ex now that the dust has settled. But I used to feel guilty. Now I'm just glad I was able to experience real love and two kids who benefited from that. But it's always "iffy."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 592405, member: 1550"] This is an interesting and thankfully friendly discussion. I just read an article that said that if you do get divorced kids do MUCH BETTER if you get along with your ex. Sadly, this often doesn't happen. Those are the kids who, apparently, do the worse. But, let's face it, it is unusual to divorce because you LIKE each other!!! I think some of the laws hurt the kids, like forcing them to see parents who they feel are abusive (the kids). "The best interests of the child" is often a big joke. A loooooooooooong time ago I read another article (when I was contemplating my divorce, which I did get). That article said that kids do better if you stay together, even if you fight, as long as there isn't violence involved. I took that seriously and waited a long time to get divorced, but I did anyway. My friend was in the same situation and she stayed with her husband, although she was having an emotional affair for ten years with a psychologist her son used to see (very ethical man...ahem). Her husband knew nothing about it. He never has. They stayed together and things got much better and they have three PCs who adore them both and now they have two grands as well. I think about her at times. Things can actually be very bad then change to good again. She is happy she stuck it out and he never knew she had almost left him. So apparently their fights did not affect their three awesome kids. But my divorce from ex, even being friendly, did hurt my kids, especially Julie, poor thing. I'm not sorry I divorced ex now that the dust has settled. But I used to feel guilty. Now I'm just glad I was able to experience real love and two kids who benefited from that. But it's always "iffy." [/QUOTE]
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