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Divorce in 2013. Does an intact family help the children?
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<blockquote data-quote="Dixies_fire" data-source="post: 592408" data-attributes="member: 16184"><p>Have stuff to add. My ex husbands parents where married for 22 years until he </p><p>was a senior in high school and he was a difficult child. His brother and sister much less so, but still. I don't even think he's a bad difficult child compared to other difficult child people I have known but his mom makes it clear to him how much she thinks he's a screw up. </p><p></p><p>My current husband's dad died when he was 7. He has PTSD from that. His parents were married. His mom dated one person growing up who was not a nice man and she eventually chucked him to the curb.</p><p></p><p>My parents married twice but were not really together through out my life. I have a brother 14 yrs my senior who is my full brother. I have a sister from my mothers second marriage who is difficult child to the max. She was "Learning Disability (LD)" in school 20 years ago. Which you know means nothing. She probably was an alphabet kid but they just didn't diagnose many girls back in the day for anything and if you could speak and maintain friends you must just be a difficult child</p><p></p><p>I am 8 years younger than her and the only planned kid that my parents ever had and they still only made it 3 years. For a long time my first memory of my dad was my parents getting into it physically.</p><p></p><p>I have many resentments about my life. I was an a student most of my life and ignored in favor of difficult child sister. My accomplishments were not a big deal when paired with her failures. I resented being raised by my aunt even though I think many of my good parenting qualities come from her. I moved out at 16, got my GED and worked all of my life this is my longest time unemployed as a house wife and I am not a fan. I moved out because my mom got back together with my dad and I couldn't really deal with someone trying to parent me after years of my mom and I being room mates. My dad bought me a 800.00 car and paid my 50.00 insurance and that was it. I dealt with it, enjoyed it. For the most part. I was resentful that they would not help me through college which I was accepted to at 16 but it is what it is and I will get to go one day. </p><p></p><p>My ex and I were married for 7 years. There were many ups and downs. Our relationship had settled into boring middle age which I was fine with. He wasn't. He cheated while I was deployed. I probably would have forgiven him if he had been the slightest bit repentant but he wasn't so we divorced.</p><p></p><p>I had no intention on getting divorced but unfortunately I don't have the kind of ego that can philosophically accept being the less preferred woman. The whole thing kind of ruined my self worth. Tk's issues were definitely less pronounced prior to our divorce but some of the signs were there. And she would probably be a bit more manageable if we were still married as we co parented well with her. Boyo was very young and doesn't seem effected at all.</p><p></p><p>My best friend was in a two parent home, she is much less successful in life then myself has very little ambition but has managed to hold on to her marriage. Her husband is a difficult child and her step son from her husband's first marriage is a serious dangerous difficult child. All things considered she would probably be more successful if she dropped the husband that doesn't work contribute parent or help. But hey she's happy and divorce is worse than death right?</p><p></p><p>Who knows.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Dixies_fire, post: 592408, member: 16184"] Have stuff to add. My ex husbands parents where married for 22 years until he was a senior in high school and he was a difficult child. His brother and sister much less so, but still. I don't even think he's a bad difficult child compared to other difficult child people I have known but his mom makes it clear to him how much she thinks he's a screw up. My current husband's dad died when he was 7. He has PTSD from that. His parents were married. His mom dated one person growing up who was not a nice man and she eventually chucked him to the curb. My parents married twice but were not really together through out my life. I have a brother 14 yrs my senior who is my full brother. I have a sister from my mothers second marriage who is difficult child to the max. She was "Learning Disability (LD)" in school 20 years ago. Which you know means nothing. She probably was an alphabet kid but they just didn't diagnose many girls back in the day for anything and if you could speak and maintain friends you must just be a difficult child I am 8 years younger than her and the only planned kid that my parents ever had and they still only made it 3 years. For a long time my first memory of my dad was my parents getting into it physically. I have many resentments about my life. I was an a student most of my life and ignored in favor of difficult child sister. My accomplishments were not a big deal when paired with her failures. I resented being raised by my aunt even though I think many of my good parenting qualities come from her. I moved out at 16, got my GED and worked all of my life this is my longest time unemployed as a house wife and I am not a fan. I moved out because my mom got back together with my dad and I couldn't really deal with someone trying to parent me after years of my mom and I being room mates. My dad bought me a 800.00 car and paid my 50.00 insurance and that was it. I dealt with it, enjoyed it. For the most part. I was resentful that they would not help me through college which I was accepted to at 16 but it is what it is and I will get to go one day. My ex and I were married for 7 years. There were many ups and downs. Our relationship had settled into boring middle age which I was fine with. He wasn't. He cheated while I was deployed. I probably would have forgiven him if he had been the slightest bit repentant but he wasn't so we divorced. I had no intention on getting divorced but unfortunately I don't have the kind of ego that can philosophically accept being the less preferred woman. The whole thing kind of ruined my self worth. Tk's issues were definitely less pronounced prior to our divorce but some of the signs were there. And she would probably be a bit more manageable if we were still married as we co parented well with her. Boyo was very young and doesn't seem effected at all. My best friend was in a two parent home, she is much less successful in life then myself has very little ambition but has managed to hold on to her marriage. Her husband is a difficult child and her step son from her husband's first marriage is a serious dangerous difficult child. All things considered she would probably be more successful if she dropped the husband that doesn't work contribute parent or help. But hey she's happy and divorce is worse than death right? Who knows. [/QUOTE]
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Divorce in 2013. Does an intact family help the children?
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