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General Parenting
Do I force my difficult child to grow up?
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<blockquote data-quote="dreamer" data-source="post: 54902" data-attributes="member: 1697"><p>Age is simply a rough guideline. My son is 12 and quite popular, although his reading and writing skills were several grade levels below his classmates. Then he missed most of grade 5 due to multiple extensive eye surgeries due to an eye injury. I felt he did not have the opportunity to mature enough in grade 5 to move on to our grade 6 middle school. His maturity level had little to do with his choice of toys, tho. </p><p>He has several middle school aged friends who love to come play hot wheels and Thomas (we have the wooden thomas stuff, not the newer stuff) and my daughters and their friends also love to play with these things. </p><p>Seems to me that pushing any person to give up their treasured possessions is asking for trouble. Part of "maturity" is acceptance that we all have different things we like and dislike, so if his peers are all "so" mature, they should be learning that. Don't get me wrong, my son also loves to go to pop rock concerts and whirleyball and bumper cars and bowling. He loves skateboarding and riding his bike. He loves his videogames and beats most adults. </p><p></p><p>As for clothes, well, that is still similar logic, in my opinion. How often do adults tell kids to "think for themself" "accept diversity" "just becuz so and so is d oing something does not mean you have to" </p><p>My son has mild cp and low muscle tone. It is so mild it is not obvious. But it does create difficulty for him with zippers, buttons, tying etc. He wears sandals or velcro shoes or slip on shoes. He wears elastic waist pants- and he wears his t shirt out over his pants. When we got him a plain backpack for school, it was explained for 2 reasons to him- cheaper than a licensed character one and also less liekly to get stolen. Both are true and not as judgemental to him as "less mature" Truth is if you go to our HS here in town you will find far more licensed character items at our HS than you might find at our elementary school. </p><p></p><p>I pride my son on being who he is and making his choices and not being led by his peers so much.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dreamer, post: 54902, member: 1697"] Age is simply a rough guideline. My son is 12 and quite popular, although his reading and writing skills were several grade levels below his classmates. Then he missed most of grade 5 due to multiple extensive eye surgeries due to an eye injury. I felt he did not have the opportunity to mature enough in grade 5 to move on to our grade 6 middle school. His maturity level had little to do with his choice of toys, tho. He has several middle school aged friends who love to come play hot wheels and Thomas (we have the wooden thomas stuff, not the newer stuff) and my daughters and their friends also love to play with these things. Seems to me that pushing any person to give up their treasured possessions is asking for trouble. Part of "maturity" is acceptance that we all have different things we like and dislike, so if his peers are all "so" mature, they should be learning that. Don't get me wrong, my son also loves to go to pop rock concerts and whirleyball and bumper cars and bowling. He loves skateboarding and riding his bike. He loves his videogames and beats most adults. As for clothes, well, that is still similar logic, in my opinion. How often do adults tell kids to "think for themself" "accept diversity" "just becuz so and so is d oing something does not mean you have to" My son has mild cp and low muscle tone. It is so mild it is not obvious. But it does create difficulty for him with zippers, buttons, tying etc. He wears sandals or velcro shoes or slip on shoes. He wears elastic waist pants- and he wears his t shirt out over his pants. When we got him a plain backpack for school, it was explained for 2 reasons to him- cheaper than a licensed character one and also less liekly to get stolen. Both are true and not as judgemental to him as "less mature" Truth is if you go to our HS here in town you will find far more licensed character items at our HS than you might find at our elementary school. I pride my son on being who he is and making his choices and not being led by his peers so much. [/QUOTE]
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