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Do others feel this way with other children too?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 752868" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>I have two normal kids and Kay who was adopted at birth from overseas, beautiful, capable and charming when she chooses to be.</p><p> </p><p>If my two normal nice kids wanted to be in Kay's life, even though she has shunned my husband and me because we will no longer hand her money, we would let it be. If your daughter is anything like Kay, her main reason for including her brother and sister into their lives would be to further hurt us.</p><p></p><p> If my two kids wanted to have a relationship with Kay anyway, we would not ask questions. This is not our business. I learned in Al Anon that my business ends at the tip of my nose and I agree with this one hundred percent. This for me even includes if I desperately wish to impose myself on somebody else. I don't do it and am happier for it. Kay can hurt us much less now. We don't even do FB anymore to check on Kay. No gain to anyone doing that.</p><p></p><p>To be fair, my other kids, for their own reasons, want nothing to do with Kay. She has messed when both in very bad ways. But if they still saw her it would not be my business nor are my adult kids required to shield my feelings. I am the only person who can do this. We had to change US.</p><p></p><p>Husband and I have now been in Al Anon and therapy many years to get to this place of relative peace. Kay was once a hard drug user and drinker and now she smokes pot several times every single day and is still never sober. Pot overuse daily IS an addiction and DOES affect her behavior. Her husband is a big pothead who quits his fast food jobs at will and is very rude to everyone else. My grandson is being raised by these damaged adults. So far we have not been able to get him out of there. </p><p></p><p>I understand your pain. I felt it once. But I found that there are alternate, less hurtful ways of coping with dysfunctional and even mean kids. This may have saved our lives. Our reaction to her behavior was contributing to our health challenges and we are in our 60s. We all deserve peace, love and happiness.</p><p></p><p>The only person who can get us there is us.</p><p></p><p>God bless you. I am so sorry.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 752868, member: 23706"] I have two normal kids and Kay who was adopted at birth from overseas, beautiful, capable and charming when she chooses to be. If my two normal nice kids wanted to be in Kay's life, even though she has shunned my husband and me because we will no longer hand her money, we would let it be. If your daughter is anything like Kay, her main reason for including her brother and sister into their lives would be to further hurt us. If my two kids wanted to have a relationship with Kay anyway, we would not ask questions. This is not our business. I learned in Al Anon that my business ends at the tip of my nose and I agree with this one hundred percent. This for me even includes if I desperately wish to impose myself on somebody else. I don't do it and am happier for it. Kay can hurt us much less now. We don't even do FB anymore to check on Kay. No gain to anyone doing that. To be fair, my other kids, for their own reasons, want nothing to do with Kay. She has messed when both in very bad ways. But if they still saw her it would not be my business nor are my adult kids required to shield my feelings. I am the only person who can do this. We had to change US. Husband and I have now been in Al Anon and therapy many years to get to this place of relative peace. Kay was once a hard drug user and drinker and now she smokes pot several times every single day and is still never sober. Pot overuse daily IS an addiction and DOES affect her behavior. Her husband is a big pothead who quits his fast food jobs at will and is very rude to everyone else. My grandson is being raised by these damaged adults. So far we have not been able to get him out of there. I understand your pain. I felt it once. But I found that there are alternate, less hurtful ways of coping with dysfunctional and even mean kids. This may have saved our lives. Our reaction to her behavior was contributing to our health challenges and we are in our 60s. We all deserve peace, love and happiness. The only person who can get us there is us. God bless you. I am so sorry. [/QUOTE]
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Do others feel this way with other children too?
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