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Do others feel this way with other children too?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 752913" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This is what I am not understanding.</p><p></p><p>I am not condoning here, the triangulation in your family; that there is an odd man out, which seems to be you at least right now. There are families like this that always have somebody designated as "out," and it shifts so nobody is secure that they won't be left out of the circle. </p><p></p><p>So. Your middle daughter is saying that she feels as if she felt rejected; that she felt she received less than did her sisters. What she is saying here is that she feels like she was the "odd man out." </p><p></p><p>And now what she is doing is the same thing, this time, to you. And the other kids are collaborating with her, to do this.</p><p></p><p>Now where I am getting to with this, is here: I wish I had lived a life where I was connected to my mother, in the same way as was my sister. And I wish I had a sister who wanted me in her life. I fault myself for both of these lacks. Had I turned the cheek, it's possible that I could have overcome my heartache (and anger, perhaps) and I would have had a different life.</p><p></p><p>So. It seems to me on this thread there may be a double standard. We seem to be holding our own pain as more important, that we felt shunned as more serious. And we seem to be discounting the grievance of the children, as less than. As something that is untrue. How is it that our pain is true, and theirs not?</p><p></p><p>I will retire from this thread because after this I don't feel I have much to say. But I don't think there are bad guys here. Not anymore. I know my sister feels I am a bad guy and has a long list as to why. Just as I have a long list about her. I think the lists are just cover for pain. Because at the end of the day, that's really all there is pain. And pain is better off felt. Once that bubble bursts, there can only be grace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 752913, member: 18958"] This is what I am not understanding. I am not condoning here, the triangulation in your family; that there is an odd man out, which seems to be you at least right now. There are families like this that always have somebody designated as "out," and it shifts so nobody is secure that they won't be left out of the circle. So. Your middle daughter is saying that she feels as if she felt rejected; that she felt she received less than did her sisters. What she is saying here is that she feels like she was the "odd man out." And now what she is doing is the same thing, this time, to you. And the other kids are collaborating with her, to do this. Now where I am getting to with this, is here: I wish I had lived a life where I was connected to my mother, in the same way as was my sister. And I wish I had a sister who wanted me in her life. I fault myself for both of these lacks. Had I turned the cheek, it's possible that I could have overcome my heartache (and anger, perhaps) and I would have had a different life. So. It seems to me on this thread there may be a double standard. We seem to be holding our own pain as more important, that we felt shunned as more serious. And we seem to be discounting the grievance of the children, as less than. As something that is untrue. How is it that our pain is true, and theirs not? I will retire from this thread because after this I don't feel I have much to say. But I don't think there are bad guys here. Not anymore. I know my sister feels I am a bad guy and has a long list as to why. Just as I have a long list about her. I think the lists are just cover for pain. Because at the end of the day, that's really all there is pain. And pain is better off felt. Once that bubble bursts, there can only be grace. [/QUOTE]
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Do others feel this way with other children too?
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