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Do others feel this way with other children too?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 752988" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Louise, wow. We do have much in common...all three of us. Kay has called me a narcissist which is the new hip word for all things wrong that a parent does. In their minds.</p><p></p><p>I am convinced that some people are born more negative and critical than average. That is Kay. Nothing pleased her. Nothing. Nor does she see reality as others did or do. She is not even happy with Lee or in love with Jaden, as I was with her...I still do love her, but I have detached.</p><p></p><p>What makes Kay doubly hard for me to understand is that my husband and I are basically optimistic, happy people. Or we were. So we tried to get Kay to look at the bright side of things, which never worked. She was born to look at everything through dark lenses. This, more than anything, is why I have little hope for Kay. She is sure that everything is not going to work out so she won't try. She writes the end of her own story as a tragedy.</p><p></p><p>Old ideas about parental bonds and family have changed in my opinion. Old psychological theories in my opinion have been put to rest and proven wrong. I can see that not all kids love their parents. If you can walk out of somebody's life with no regrets, that is not love. If you abuse somebody, that is not real love. Not from a spouse or a child. Would we try to claim that an abusive partner loves us? Of course not. The partner may say he loves the one who is abused, but that is gaslighting.</p><p></p><p>Kay wants nothing to do with us because we are done paying her bills. We are still here for her for empowerment, love and emotional support. Shouldn't that be enough if they love us? Did we expect a boatload of financially support from our parents? Did we not love them anyways?</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry for both of you and for me. I never thought of it, bit if Amy and Rick were okay with how Kay treats their father and me, and if they participated in her life knowing that we could not, it would sting us. We would never try to stop them, but we would probably feel a little resentment and distance toward them. It would be hard not to feel those emotions.</p><p></p><p>God bless all of us who are disconnected from a child or children.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 752988, member: 23706"] Louise, wow. We do have much in common...all three of us. Kay has called me a narcissist which is the new hip word for all things wrong that a parent does. In their minds. I am convinced that some people are born more negative and critical than average. That is Kay. Nothing pleased her. Nothing. Nor does she see reality as others did or do. She is not even happy with Lee or in love with Jaden, as I was with her...I still do love her, but I have detached. What makes Kay doubly hard for me to understand is that my husband and I are basically optimistic, happy people. Or we were. So we tried to get Kay to look at the bright side of things, which never worked. She was born to look at everything through dark lenses. This, more than anything, is why I have little hope for Kay. She is sure that everything is not going to work out so she won't try. She writes the end of her own story as a tragedy. Old ideas about parental bonds and family have changed in my opinion. Old psychological theories in my opinion have been put to rest and proven wrong. I can see that not all kids love their parents. If you can walk out of somebody's life with no regrets, that is not love. If you abuse somebody, that is not real love. Not from a spouse or a child. Would we try to claim that an abusive partner loves us? Of course not. The partner may say he loves the one who is abused, but that is gaslighting. Kay wants nothing to do with us because we are done paying her bills. We are still here for her for empowerment, love and emotional support. Shouldn't that be enough if they love us? Did we expect a boatload of financially support from our parents? Did we not love them anyways? I am so sorry for both of you and for me. I never thought of it, bit if Amy and Rick were okay with how Kay treats their father and me, and if they participated in her life knowing that we could not, it would sting us. We would never try to stop them, but we would probably feel a little resentment and distance toward them. It would be hard not to feel those emotions. God bless all of us who are disconnected from a child or children. [/QUOTE]
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Do others feel this way with other children too?
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