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General Discussions
Family of Origin
Do the holidays bother those of us with little to no FOO?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 672849" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I think this comes from the parenting she received as much as genetics. </p><p></p><p>If you were raised, shaped by a parental attitude that most everything is your fault and your responsibility this is a default stance you bring to your whole life. </p><p></p><p>When one becomes a parent, we hope to work this out. By parenting our children we parent anew, ourselves. It works for awhile. When it stops we feel catapulted back to the same attitude of blame and responsibility of our youth. Without anybody to help us. Just undermining. We begin to see our children as blaming us, holding us responsibility for their problems. And sometimes they do. It is a perfect storm of (self) condemnation. Worst of all there is the lost sense of love and completion that we had longed for. </p><p></p><p>All of it, an opportunity, nonetheless.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 672849, member: 18958"] I think this comes from the parenting she received as much as genetics. If you were raised, shaped by a parental attitude that most everything is your fault and your responsibility this is a default stance you bring to your whole life. When one becomes a parent, we hope to work this out. By parenting our children we parent anew, ourselves. It works for awhile. When it stops we feel catapulted back to the same attitude of blame and responsibility of our youth. Without anybody to help us. Just undermining. We begin to see our children as blaming us, holding us responsibility for their problems. And sometimes they do. It is a perfect storm of (self) condemnation. Worst of all there is the lost sense of love and completion that we had longed for. All of it, an opportunity, nonetheless. COPA [/QUOTE]
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Do the holidays bother those of us with little to no FOO?
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