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Do you agree with my therapist?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 618258" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I do not agree with your therapist. I agree with MWM that a therapist should not be telling you WHAT to do, but guiding you by giving you tools and support to make the decisions that you feel are best. You are in the trenches with your difficult child, not your therapist.</p><p></p><p>I would ask myself this question, what is it that you want and what are you willing to do <u>without r</u>esentment. </p><p></p><p>You would essentially be bribing your son to meet with you all the while knowing he is only there for the money. Follow YOUR instincts, it sounds to me like you may be <em>willing</em> to follow the therapists advice, however you <u>agree </u>with your husband. I might tell him that if he is willing to meet you for lunch now, that sometime down the road, because of his willingness to meet you half way, you might be willing to give him some gas money. But not contingent upon his showing up or not, just because you want to give it to him.</p><p></p><p>And I agree that he needs to have some sense of remorse and apology for abusing you. One can only trust another who has harmed us if they offer a <em>sincere</em> apology, otherwise, they will continue the behavior because they don't see what is wrong with it. I would tread carefully down this road now...........really consider what you give to him under the present circumstances.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 618258, member: 13542"] I do not agree with your therapist. I agree with MWM that a therapist should not be telling you WHAT to do, but guiding you by giving you tools and support to make the decisions that you feel are best. You are in the trenches with your difficult child, not your therapist. I would ask myself this question, what is it that you want and what are you willing to do [U]without r[/U]esentment. You would essentially be bribing your son to meet with you all the while knowing he is only there for the money. Follow YOUR instincts, it sounds to me like you may be [I]willing[/I] to follow the therapists advice, however you [U]agree [/U]with your husband. I might tell him that if he is willing to meet you for lunch now, that sometime down the road, because of his willingness to meet you half way, you might be willing to give him some gas money. But not contingent upon his showing up or not, just because you want to give it to him. And I agree that he needs to have some sense of remorse and apology for abusing you. One can only trust another who has harmed us if they offer a [I]sincere[/I] apology, otherwise, they will continue the behavior because they don't see what is wrong with it. I would tread carefully down this road now...........really consider what you give to him under the present circumstances. [/QUOTE]
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Do you agree with my therapist?
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