Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Do you agree with my therapist?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 618260" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I agree with RE and had another thought.</p><p></p><p>If your son assaults, say, his boss or his or a roommate at college or some girlfriend and is not remorseful or says, "(Other person) provoked me" guess what? His life is about to become miserable because the cops and a judge will be harder on him for having no remorse. And, frankly, it's scary that he doesn't. This is a huge deal and your son is acting like a victim who deserves continued rewards in spite of what he did to you.</p><p></p><p>I really don't know what this therapist's credentials are, but the therapists I have seen (and there have been many) never TOLD me what to do. That isn't their job. Since they don't live our lives or know our kids, they can't render a knowledgeable opinion. It is foolish that this therapist knows that your son attacked you, but is focused on college rather than his learning how to behave in a socially acceptable way first. And your son will not "get" how serious his action was unless it is treated with the respect it deserves. Of course this is just my opinion, but I feel it is way outside the lines to get physical with a parent.</p><p></p><p>Here's just something to think about to yourself. What is worth it to you? Do you want to see your son so badly that you think it is worth coughing up $20 week? I know some mothers would say "yes." To me, I would feel horrible and disrespected to see my own child only because I offered him money. To me, since my child got a reward for seeing me, it has nothing to do about me or wanting to spend time with me. And under those circumstances, I would rather keep my money and not see even my own child. I have sort of been in that situation with one of my children. I got a long list of "how you have to behave" to see me. I decided then and there that the relationship between my son and I was not worth it. It was very biting and hurtful and false. He basically got his wife to fear me, although I have never even spanked my kids. I made a decision to only see him if he came to me and did not make ridiculous rules, such as I am not allowed in his home as I may hurt his child. It broke my heart, but I got over it and he is still angry at me and I don't even know why. I can see him if I agree with him that I made him pay our bills in childhood and abused him physically, but I didn't. I'm not going to admit to things that did not happen. Even then, he wants me to follow his ridiculous rules. So I see my other kids and hang with people who see me for who I really am and do not abuse me. Everyone is different. I still don't see that child, but I have a great husband and four other super kids. I count my blessings.</p><p></p><p>Make the decisions that are right for you. Think about what is really best for your son's development to manhood. Don't let any of us or your therapist tell you what to do. We can give you other points of view. In the end, the decisions are your own.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 618260, member: 1550"] I agree with RE and had another thought. If your son assaults, say, his boss or his or a roommate at college or some girlfriend and is not remorseful or says, "(Other person) provoked me" guess what? His life is about to become miserable because the cops and a judge will be harder on him for having no remorse. And, frankly, it's scary that he doesn't. This is a huge deal and your son is acting like a victim who deserves continued rewards in spite of what he did to you. I really don't know what this therapist's credentials are, but the therapists I have seen (and there have been many) never TOLD me what to do. That isn't their job. Since they don't live our lives or know our kids, they can't render a knowledgeable opinion. It is foolish that this therapist knows that your son attacked you, but is focused on college rather than his learning how to behave in a socially acceptable way first. And your son will not "get" how serious his action was unless it is treated with the respect it deserves. Of course this is just my opinion, but I feel it is way outside the lines to get physical with a parent. Here's just something to think about to yourself. What is worth it to you? Do you want to see your son so badly that you think it is worth coughing up $20 week? I know some mothers would say "yes." To me, I would feel horrible and disrespected to see my own child only because I offered him money. To me, since my child got a reward for seeing me, it has nothing to do about me or wanting to spend time with me. And under those circumstances, I would rather keep my money and not see even my own child. I have sort of been in that situation with one of my children. I got a long list of "how you have to behave" to see me. I decided then and there that the relationship between my son and I was not worth it. It was very biting and hurtful and false. He basically got his wife to fear me, although I have never even spanked my kids. I made a decision to only see him if he came to me and did not make ridiculous rules, such as I am not allowed in his home as I may hurt his child. It broke my heart, but I got over it and he is still angry at me and I don't even know why. I can see him if I agree with him that I made him pay our bills in childhood and abused him physically, but I didn't. I'm not going to admit to things that did not happen. Even then, he wants me to follow his ridiculous rules. So I see my other kids and hang with people who see me for who I really am and do not abuse me. Everyone is different. I still don't see that child, but I have a great husband and four other super kids. I count my blessings. Make the decisions that are right for you. Think about what is really best for your son's development to manhood. Don't let any of us or your therapist tell you what to do. We can give you other points of view. In the end, the decisions are your own. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Do you agree with my therapist?
Top