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Do you enjoy the holidays?
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<blockquote data-quote="Mom2oddson" data-source="post: 491263" data-attributes="member: 65"><p>When I was growing up, Christmas was very simple. It was just Mom, Dad, my Sister and Me. Dad was active duty and always took duty on Christmas Day so that his men could be with their families. So, Christmas Eve was our family Christmas. We'd go somewhere and while we were gone, Santa would come. Then Christmas Day it was just Mom, Sis and me.....and the one time that we got to talk to family on the phone!! (back in the olden days when you couldn't afford to talk on a phone). It was a wonderful time.... but I always wanted a HUGE Family Christmas. </p><p></p><p>Then I married husband and we had HUGE family Christmases and I hated them. husband was still an active Alcoholic. mother in law is the wicked witch... couldn't discipline Ant at her house... mother in law would spend $100 each on the difficult children and maybe $10 on easy child. husband got mad at me if I was offended by that. OH and we had to do both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at MILs. I hated Christmas at that time. </p><p></p><p>About 8 years ago, I put my foot down and told husband Christmas Day was for MY parents and we stopped going to MILs on Christmas Day. My Christmases got a little better. I suffered thru Christmas Eve, looking forward to the peace of Christmas day. That Day was so enjoyable. No pressure, no problems, no nothing except unconditional love from my parents and the joy of being together. </p><p></p><p>Then 3 years ago (husband's first sober Christmas) I refused to go to MILs even on Christmas Eve. I was done with all of it. Well, husband wouldn't go without me....and standing up to Mommy-dearest made him so sick. He spent both days throwing up. It was growing pains for him. </p><p></p><p>I now love Christmas again!! It's a lot of work for me. I spend 2-3 weekends doing nothing but baking. And it's worth it. I mail boxes of home-made goodies to husband's Aunts in California. And it makes them SO HAPPY! You'd think I'd sent them a million dollars. And then husband's Aunts that are local start asking husband if I'm going to bake for them again this year. They, too, love my baked goodies. I like making people happy. It makes me feel good and so worth the work. </p><p></p><p>As soon as work gets out today, my holiday starts. Steph is going to spend the night so we can celebrate Christmas with her tomorrow. Tomorrow we will let Steph and easy child open their gifts. We will go visit my parents so they can celebrate with Steph. We have a Christmas Eve party to go to with some of husband's Aunts. Christmas day, we will celebrate with my parents again but this time with Ant. </p><p></p><p>There will be sad parts, like how we couldn't get Ant a really nice gift. We had to get him things he couldn't sell or pawn. And seeing how bad of shape he's gotten in could be sad too. But, husband and I have decided to be happy no matter what is going on around us. And in spite of having to put on a wedding reception on Monday, it will be a good weekend. </p><p></p><p>I have a lot to be happy about this Christmas. husband and I have jobs. We are still very much in love. Even though our immediate family is split apart with Ant living in his druggie world and Steph having found herself a nice foster home.... they still want to see us on Christmas. That is wonderful. For me, Christmas comes down to finding love in my life, no matter where it is found. And it's found in a cold nose in my face every morning followed by that quick tongue with the wet kiss. And the beating of a tail on the floor from the other furbaby waiting her turn to say good morning. It was in the cup of coffee husband delivered to me this morning (he got home from work as I was my alarm was going off). It's in the greetings from my co-workers in the morning. It's that rare smile from a stranger in the Mall. (I actually like going through the mall and smiling at people. Very few respond back, but when someone does - it's wonderful - it's like a gift exchange with a stranger). And I find love in the strangest things too....like my car starting every morning when I get in it. To me - that is a blessing - because it would be a bad day if it didn't. </p><p></p><p>Someone told me once that people get caught up in the Norma Rockwell picture of what a holiday should be. But to remember that that picture is a one-second still shot of that holiday. You can't see that Uncle is Drunk or that Mom & Dad aren't talking because of some fight or that one sibling is kicking the other under the table. Each and every family has their own issues - the trick is to enjoy life in spite of it. And that is what I try to do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mom2oddson, post: 491263, member: 65"] When I was growing up, Christmas was very simple. It was just Mom, Dad, my Sister and Me. Dad was active duty and always took duty on Christmas Day so that his men could be with their families. So, Christmas Eve was our family Christmas. We'd go somewhere and while we were gone, Santa would come. Then Christmas Day it was just Mom, Sis and me.....and the one time that we got to talk to family on the phone!! (back in the olden days when you couldn't afford to talk on a phone). It was a wonderful time.... but I always wanted a HUGE Family Christmas. Then I married husband and we had HUGE family Christmases and I hated them. husband was still an active Alcoholic. mother in law is the wicked witch... couldn't discipline Ant at her house... mother in law would spend $100 each on the difficult children and maybe $10 on easy child. husband got mad at me if I was offended by that. OH and we had to do both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at MILs. I hated Christmas at that time. About 8 years ago, I put my foot down and told husband Christmas Day was for MY parents and we stopped going to MILs on Christmas Day. My Christmases got a little better. I suffered thru Christmas Eve, looking forward to the peace of Christmas day. That Day was so enjoyable. No pressure, no problems, no nothing except unconditional love from my parents and the joy of being together. Then 3 years ago (husband's first sober Christmas) I refused to go to MILs even on Christmas Eve. I was done with all of it. Well, husband wouldn't go without me....and standing up to Mommy-dearest made him so sick. He spent both days throwing up. It was growing pains for him. I now love Christmas again!! It's a lot of work for me. I spend 2-3 weekends doing nothing but baking. And it's worth it. I mail boxes of home-made goodies to husband's Aunts in California. And it makes them SO HAPPY! You'd think I'd sent them a million dollars. And then husband's Aunts that are local start asking husband if I'm going to bake for them again this year. They, too, love my baked goodies. I like making people happy. It makes me feel good and so worth the work. As soon as work gets out today, my holiday starts. Steph is going to spend the night so we can celebrate Christmas with her tomorrow. Tomorrow we will let Steph and easy child open their gifts. We will go visit my parents so they can celebrate with Steph. We have a Christmas Eve party to go to with some of husband's Aunts. Christmas day, we will celebrate with my parents again but this time with Ant. There will be sad parts, like how we couldn't get Ant a really nice gift. We had to get him things he couldn't sell or pawn. And seeing how bad of shape he's gotten in could be sad too. But, husband and I have decided to be happy no matter what is going on around us. And in spite of having to put on a wedding reception on Monday, it will be a good weekend. I have a lot to be happy about this Christmas. husband and I have jobs. We are still very much in love. Even though our immediate family is split apart with Ant living in his druggie world and Steph having found herself a nice foster home.... they still want to see us on Christmas. That is wonderful. For me, Christmas comes down to finding love in my life, no matter where it is found. And it's found in a cold nose in my face every morning followed by that quick tongue with the wet kiss. And the beating of a tail on the floor from the other furbaby waiting her turn to say good morning. It was in the cup of coffee husband delivered to me this morning (he got home from work as I was my alarm was going off). It's in the greetings from my co-workers in the morning. It's that rare smile from a stranger in the Mall. (I actually like going through the mall and smiling at people. Very few respond back, but when someone does - it's wonderful - it's like a gift exchange with a stranger). And I find love in the strangest things too....like my car starting every morning when I get in it. To me - that is a blessing - because it would be a bad day if it didn't. Someone told me once that people get caught up in the Norma Rockwell picture of what a holiday should be. But to remember that that picture is a one-second still shot of that holiday. You can't see that Uncle is Drunk or that Mom & Dad aren't talking because of some fight or that one sibling is kicking the other under the table. Each and every family has their own issues - the trick is to enjoy life in spite of it. And that is what I try to do. [/QUOTE]
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